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Posted

I'm new to this forum, looking forward to receiving great advice and support.

 

I broke it off with my gf last week after a string of events lead me to feel uncomfortable.

Some history before I get to the main point.

So I've known this girl for coming on 3 years. I took interest in her the moment we met and it seemed as if the feeling were mutual. Problem was that she also had in interest in another fellow, a good guy, and after several months of competition she chose him. I was hurt, but we continued seeing each other during their relationship. I regret to say but she did cheat on him with me. If I could I would take it back, very disrespectful, and going forward I won't put myself in that position again. Regardless, my feelings for her got the best of me.

 

After they reached a year in their relationship, she cut me off. We didn't speak for 3-4 months. At the end of those 4 months she contacted me saying that she wanted to speak to me. Turns out she had broken up with and wanted to give it a shot with me. I told her that I would like that, but urged her to take time to herself as she came on very eagerly.

Another 4 months pass, dating, and we become "official"

Not for long though lol.

 

 

So onto the main reasons I broke it off.

As much as I would love to write in detail, it would take forever. So I'll just list the reasons.

 

Her ex was never completely out of the picture. I stumbled upon them hanging out one day. The only reason I got upset was because she failed to mention the event. Only way I would have ever known, is by seeing (exactly what happened)

 

Next, she never mentioned she had a boyfriend to her mom or friend who lives with her. I didn't think much of it, but it got to me a little.

 

Third reason, she brought a guy friend into her house. She also met another guy when we were at the club, I wasn't with her at the moment though. He walked her out of the club because I was already in the car. Turns out they exchanged numbers and were hanging out and texting a lot.

These guys really don't bother me, I'm really not the jealous type. Problem arose when I began to think, "if she didn't tell the 2 people she lives with about us, what would make her set boundaries with these new guys."

I also found out she met the guy at the club again a Saturday she was angry with me.

Always secretive about her phone as well.

I never told her she couldn't see them. I never called her throughout the day asking where are you, who are you with, etc...

 

I brought up these issues with her and she turned the tables saying I had trust issues. While trust may have been an issue due to our history and her ex, I put that all out of my head by the time we started our relationship. I wanted to start on a blank slate and not allow the past to affect it.

I thought about it as more of a respect issue. I felt disrespected that she wanted to keep us a secret. And on top of that continued to meet and hangout with other guys, never informing them either.

So yeah, it's been a week being single again. Not hurt really, more relieved as I had a nagging feeling of being used. Don't think she cheated, just had one foot out the door.....maybe

 

Looking for insight

Thanks for reading

Posted

Yes, you did.

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