Patient Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Hey guys I just need some advice. Ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year, we've been involved with eachother for 3 years and friends over 10 years. We've been loyal to eachother and stuck by eachother since forever, but recently he received jail time for back owed child support (found out the baby wasnt his) and served 6 months. I stuck by him. Well before he got out he found out his parents wouldnt let him stay there so hes been bouncing from place to place..hes homeless.He cant stay with me because I live/take care of my ill grandmother and she wouldnt allow us to stay there unmarried. Im staying by his side but ive been sooo worried about him. We talk rarely because he hasnt gotten his phone straight yet ( he just got out a week ago) and I dont know. Im not gonna leave him, at least i dont want to but i just dont know how to help or what I should do...help!!!!
Maxtor Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 You leaving him homeless because your grandmother doesnt allow? I know she is ill, but if he is having a bad time, and i mean really bad, since he doesnt even have someplace to stay, i dont know, if it was me, i would be pissed forever at someone that doesnt even give me a place to sleep. 1
Author Patient Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Well I have to abide by her rules and I am looking for a place for us now but he understands how she is and sees it the way I do...if I was in the same boat his parents would do the same its a old school thing.
Maxtor Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Well I have to abide by her rules and I am looking for a place for us now but he understands how she is and sees it the way I do...if I was in the same boat his parents would do the same its a old school thing. I completely understand that, what bothers me is that people put rules above people's feelings and needs. Im not judging, just keep in mind we only live once, and he is not doing so well.
Author Patient Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Yea and it hurts me to see him that way I cry about it often...I feel helpless I just dont know I feel hurt and anger
FitChick Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 he received jail time for back owed child support (found out the baby wasnt his) and served 6 months. Why would he owe child support for someone elses kid? Makes no sense. 2
Author Patient Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 He was paying child support for the child before he found out. He stopped paying it after being suspicious of it not being his although it was court ordered. He found out it wasnt his but all the child support he didnt pay he still owes.Hes not responsible for paying child support anymore but he has to pay the back owed...but what does this have to do with my question??
Keenly Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Why would he owe child support for someone elses kid? Makes no sense. I could Google and bring you 3 stories in 2 minutes of phone copy / pasting to show you cases where the judge ruled that the well being of the child was more important than the paternity of the father. 1
darkmoon Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) he could stay with one of his family - why are you under all the pressure? more to come unless he gets into the world of work, paying all the bills gets taken for granted, you end up doling it out unasked you see, and there it is as a routine, but be a saint if you wish Edited October 7, 2013 by darkmoon
Author Patient Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Im not just concerned and wanna help him...hes been there for ms through the worse of the worse and I just wanna be there thats all.
tlegend Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) So....you're asking us how to help in this situation? Tell him to get a job and pay his ****ing child support. He wouldn't be in this predicament had he been able to pay for his child support in the first place. And the fact that he received JAIL TIME for not paying his child support shows 2 things that stand out to me: 1) He is irresponsible and by his choice of not dealing with the child support correctly, he was punished and sent to jail. You don't go to jail because you miss a few payments. You go to jail for habitually NOT PAYING a COURT ORDERED settlement. 2) He isn't responsible enough to take care of himself. Good luck, but you can't help people who truly don't want to be helped. Edited October 7, 2013 by tlegend 3
cif Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 So....you're asking us how to help in this situation? Tell him to get a job and pay his ****ing child support. He wouldn't be in this predicament had he been able to pay for his child support in the first place. And the fact that he received JAIL TIME for not paying his child support shows 2 things that stand out to me: 1) He is irresponsible and by his choice of not dealing with the child support correctly, he was punished and sent to jail. You don't go to jail because you miss a few payments. You go to jail for habitually NOT PAYING a COURT ORDERED settlement. 2) He isn't responsible enough to take care of himself. Good luck, but you can't help people who truly don't want to be helped. Sorry to say I agree with this. He sounds very irresponsible starting with having unprotetced sex... but yes that's OT. Can't he check into a half way house? Maybe you could gve him cash for a motel. Finding a temorary job shouldn't be that difficult. LT friend i get. BF I don't understand. 1
Keenly Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Sorry to say I agree with this. He sounds very irresponsible starting with having unprotetced sex... but yes that's OT. Can't he check into a half way house? Maybe you could gve him cash for a motel. Finding a temorary job shouldn't be that difficult. LT friend i get. BF I don't understand. Maybe you forgot to read the entire OP.
cif Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Maybe you forgot to read the entire OP. I read the entire thread.. why?
Keenly Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I read the entire thread.. why? The kid is not his. You called him irresponsible with incorrect facts.
Keenly Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Op. Regardless of why he is homeless... it doesn't sound like you are in a position to help even though you want tomy ex became homeless about a year and a half into my relationship. I made the mistake of letting her move in with me. That's was not a good idea, and I actually prevented her from maturing quicker by doing that.
cif Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 The kid is not his. You called him irresponsible with incorrect facts. Yes i got that part. Read the post i quoted. And what i wrote. Hes irresponsible on many levels. But thanks for the supervision.
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