skela Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Hello, I am new to the board would like some opinions about a situation. I just bought a car from this guy and he seemed to be really into me. I am 45 and he is 28. He told me that he didn't have a girlfriend because he was so busy with work and they didn't understand that. We were emailing back and forth one night being flirtatious until after midnight. The next day I decided that I was going to be a bit bold and ask him out. Anyway, he said he would like to go but he would need to check his schedule and get back to me. That was over 24 hours ago. Do you think I misread the signals and he isn't interested but didn't know how to say it. How long should I wait for a response. I emailed again today because the location had changed. How long should I wait to hear from him. I will not be emailing again. BTW I wasn't looking for a long term relationship or anything I have been divorced for 16 years, raising my kids completelyl on my own so not a lot of time for dating - I just wanted to have some fun! Thanks so much
stillafool Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 We were emailing back and forth one night being flirtatious until after midnight. Was this before or after you bought the new car? You have to be careful because he may do this with alot of older women in order to bring up his sales as well as commissions. 2
tlegend Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Hello, I am new to the board would like some opinions about a situation. I just bought a car from this guy and he seemed to be really into me. I am 45 and he is 28. He told me that he didn't have a girlfriend because he was so busy with work and they didn't understand that. We were emailing back and forth one night being flirtatious until after midnight. The next day I decided that I was going to be a bit bold and ask him out. Anyway, he said he would like to go but he would need to check his schedule and get back to me. That was over 24 hours ago. Do you think I misread the signals and he isn't interested but didn't know how to say it. How long should I wait for a response. I emailed again today because the location had changed. How long should I wait to hear from him. I will not be emailing again. BTW I wasn't looking for a long term relationship or anything I have been divorced for 16 years, raising my kids completelyl on my own so not a lot of time for dating - I just wanted to have some fun! Thanks so much I think you should re-read your entire situation and ask yourself whether or not he has something to gain from leading you on... Especially because once it came down to setting a date and time, he mysteriously stopped responding. You deserve better. Period.
Author skela Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 It was after the whole car deal was done. I didn't even notice at first that he was into me. My daughter pointed it out LOL
Author skela Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Hmmm....well I thought i would just send me a message and say just following up, if you can't or don't want to go anymore just let me know instead of just waiting around to find out.
FitChick Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Don't send him a message and don't wait around. You will look desperate. That would be my advice if he were older, too. 1
darkmoon Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) he making his mind up, just perhaps, look elsewhere because you have no control over this hanging on the telephone sort of situation, this is a drag, demoralizing to hang about, so show some skin and see who comes along next Edited October 7, 2013 by darkmoon
thefooloftheyear Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Don't send him a message and don't wait around. You will look desperate. That would be my advice if he were older, too. Too late... TFY
Author skela Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Why do I look desperate - because i asked him out and I've been waiting for a response. Not getting it. Guess I won't ask anyone out again!
CarrieT Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Guess I won't ask anyone out again! No reason to be so extreme. Look, I'm in my late 40s and have done the same thing as you. The difficulty is that for the 20- and 30-somethings, texting is a whole new way of communication, mind-games, and relationships. You and I have a different, generational mentality about it and communication in general. You wanted an answer so you asked twice. He will see it as desperate and it will be a turn-off. Personally (after moving in with a guy almost 12 years my junior), I would suggest you stick with guys of roughly your age unless you want nothing other than a f*ck buddy - in which case, let them chase you, because they will. 1
Author skela Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 i see what you mean but the only reason I sent another email is because I found out there was a date limit and the venue had changed to a location 50 km away. I guess I've been out of this whole dating scene for too long. Too much thinking involved LOL. Yes, was basically looking for a f**k buddy and he was cute. Think I might take a break from this s**t for a while :-)
deathandtaxes Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Twenty-four hours and no response? He's blowing you off. When I say I have to check my schedule, I mean it! I have to go look at my calendar. I would get back to a person who asked as soon as I could if I were interested. Obviously he's not. His actions are screaming 'no thanks!'.
Author skela Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Yes, you are right. if he was interested he would respond. Thanks
Mascara Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I wish you'd posted here before you asked him out.
Author skela Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Maybe that would have been good. I don't really regret asking him out. I don't think guys have to do all the work all the time.
Mascara Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Hmmm, my belief is that they do. Because they seem to prefer it that way, even if they say they'd like women to tap them up. 1
Author skela Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Actually just got message from him apologizing - he's been working crazy hours in different parts of the city - wanting to finalize the date. Let's see what happens.
thefooloftheyear Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 You should be mentoring him and not just using him for sex..shame on you... Gotta love this site...Let a 45 year old guy say he just wants to have fun with a hot little 20 something and there would have been 15 pages of bitter women ripping him to shreds by now... TFY 2
Mascara Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Possibly. But I think that's mostly reserved for the men who are 45 and only go after the 20-somethings.
thefooloftheyear Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Possibly. But I think that's mostly reserved for the men who are 45 and only go after the 20-somethings. Instead of the old ladies who sometimes go after young guys?...yep..that makes sense..:laugh: TFY
Mascara Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Yeah, but I do think that with some of the guys, it's an absolute preference, rather than just part of a wide range of women they're attracted to. I think a woman ONLY being attracted to much younger men is icky too. 1
StanMusial Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 i see what you mean but the only reason I sent another email is because I found out there was a date limit and the venue had changed to a location 50 km away. I guess I've been out of this whole dating scene for too long. Too much thinking involved LOL. Yes, was basically looking for a f**k buddy and he was cute. Think I might take a break from this s**t for a while :-) Have you accurately described your intentions? Not many guys are going to turn down free sex. If he does maybe find someone a few years younger.
Author skela Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 LOL love all the responses. Well, I look fantastic for my age, take very good care of myself, and I'm very outgoing. I have gone out with guys my own age and my ex-husband was 10 years older. Sometimes the chemistry is there and sometimes it isn't. I find this guy attractive - he gave off the same vibes so we'll see where it goes. He knows how old I am - i'm not hiding anything. It's probably not something that I would make a way of life. I'm at my sexual peak, he's at his. Great equation ;-) To each his own. maybe we'll end up having sex, maybe we won't. We will see what happens
Skyraider829 Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Hello, I am new to the board would like some opinions about a situation. I just bought a car from this guy and he seemed to be really into me. I am 45 and he is 28. He told me that he didn't have a girlfriend because he was so busy with work and they didn't understand that. We were emailing back and forth one night being flirtatious until after midnight. The next day I decided that I was going to be a bit bold and ask him out. Anyway, he said he would like to go but he would need to check his schedule and get back to me. That was over 24 hours ago. Do you think I misread the signals and he isn't interested but didn't know how to say it. How long should I wait for a response. I emailed again today because the location had changed. How long should I wait to hear from him. I will not be emailing again. BTW I wasn't looking for a long term relationship or anything I have been divorced for 16 years, raising my kids completelyl on my own so not a lot of time for dating - I just wanted to have some fun! Thanks so much Oh man! Do it. Get something going with this guy, if he likes you and your interests are mutual then get it with it. If I were in this guys shoes I would totally take the opportunity. Seek him out and try getting together for some coffee or whatever you like. -Advice from a young guy.
bubbaganoosh Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 I know a guy who was in his mid 20's and was approached by a woman in her mid 40's and she wasn't very subtle in what she wanted and he knew that they would land in bed somewhere and he chickened out. Why? He felt intimidated because he felt that she knew more than he did sex wise and was afraid he couldn't live up to her expectations. So he declined her offer. Maybe this guy you met feels the same way. I'm a guy and when were in our 20's, a lot of guys talk a good story but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, it's not there. Anyhow, best of luck to you and I hope you score one for the home team.
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