brok3npr0mise Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now??) and I have been together almost 4 years. We moved in together in April 2012. We haven't always had the best relationship (frequent arguments, disagreements, etc), but we've always managed to work through our difference...until this last year. Back in October or November of last year, my boyfriend and I hit rock bottom. He pulled me to the side and told me he wasn't sure he loved me anymore and that once our lease was up in April, we were officially going our separate ways. I was devastated and kept telling him our problems could be worked out. He eventually agreed to work on it until April since we were stuck in the lease together. Things got a little better and we decided to renew our lease for another year. I was happy about that, but things still weren't fixed. It had been over 6 months since he had told me he loved me and he wasn't the same person I fell in love with. I started thinking about leaving him and seeing about breaking our lease because I felt extremely unhappy with our relationship around June of this year. Unfortunately, I made a huge mistake a started talking to another guy I met online. It was a really huge mistake and I regret it everyday. My boyfriend found out some time in July and went ballistic and ended things. I stayed with my parents for a few days then came back after he had cooled down. The whole situation made me realize that I should have been putting in more effort to working out our issues and not looking for an easy out. Eventually, he decided he wanted to see if we could work through it and stick it out together, and that he told me he had very little trust in me left. Ever since he had found out about the other guy, he's been going through my phone and computer/emails. The other night he went through my phone and asked me who some random number was texting me. I honestly was not doing anything wrong, but I felt attacked and cornered so I said I didn't know who it was and he called me a liar. I panicked because I knew he would think the worse if I told him the truth. I was texting a guy friend of mine and when I did tell him, he flipped out. I told him he could read all the texts but he just kept saying how big of a liar I am and how much I sneak around. Once again, he's ended things and says (like last time) it can't be worked out. It makes me mad that he snoops through my phone and emails, but I can understand why. I messed up the first time, but I wasn't even doing anything wrong this time. I'm unsure where to go from here and not even sure if it is worth fixing. Please do not pass judgement on what I have done in the past as I know it is wrong and have never done anything like that before. I am suffering with guilt everyday over it. I do love my (ex???) boyfriend, but I feel like this is an uphill battle. Do people ever get through things like this? Or am I wasting my time hoping we can? Him and I had never had any trust issues before and I honestly hate myself for ruining that trust.
AllTooWell Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Do people work through trust issues, yes. However there seem to be a lot more to this story than just trust issues. You guys were having a lot of problems BEFORE this arose. In my view, he is just using this as a solid reason to leave, because you convinced him to stay previously, and he can blame you.
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