eric85 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Title says it all. I can't focus at work, at home I just cry like a pathetic loser and I even dream about her every night. I try my hardest to get my thoughts off her but nothing helps. The breakup literally came out of nowhere which is why I believe it to be so bad. I've went through other ltr breakups but they didnt feel like this. I just keep thinking of our weekends where I made her and the kids breakfast and we would all just joke and play around all day. I stare at the couch that we cuddled on every night to watch movies. I lay in the bed that we made love and cuddled in every night. I wake up in my position as if im holding her and she is gone. Why did she do this to me? She has to still feel what I feel for her. Just a week before the break up she confessed how she always wanted me and had to have me. That she knew we were meant to be together and couldnt wait to get married. I honestly feel like I could just lay down and die. If I can't be with my other half I don't even want to go on with this life I live.
Author eric85 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 How long ago was the break up? Its been about a week now, she was acting cold for the week prior so I knew she was going to do it.
Mariposa10 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I'm sorry to hear you're hurting so much. There's no magical instant cure... it takes time. I used to feel like you when my breakup recently happened, but now I feel a little bit better. It's been months now though... Hang in there, this is like mourning a death, so don't be too hard on yourself! Good luck.
reddragon588 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 A week is nothing. The fact you are here already is so much further than I was at a week. I didn't seek any help, here or elsewhere, for over 6 weeks. It's going to get better. I know it's hard to see it now, but in a couple months it will be like you're a new person.
petall Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 You must go No Contact. Tattoo this on your head if necessary. It's that crucial. Slowly but gradually you will heal. It's the advice everyone gives on this forum and the reason is because IT WORKS. Every second you remain talking to her, contacting her, pleading/begging etc... only prolongs the stay in the hell you are in now. So give yourself the best medicine to recover - no contact from here onwards.
ponchsox Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I'm going through the same thing. My ex gf of 1.5 years suddenly ended our relationship 11 days ago. We had just had wonderful sex a few days before and talked about marriage the week before. This past Saturday night was a living hell. I was home alone by myself sobbing, wondering what she was doing, when Saturday nights were always our date night. This pain is the worst I've suffered. I started NC today. My last text was to her yesterday apologizing for sending angry texts. Today I started keeping a daily journal of my emotions and what I can do to improve myself. It seems to be working.
Author eric85 Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 Yes its been a little over a week now, maybe two i'm not really counting. We were engaged, have children together. One of those children whom I have raised since a yr old(biological father plays no part) and calls me dad, she is 4 now. I can't keep NC for long due to the children which is going to make it extremely hard. I haven't ate for a week and can't focus at work. I have been talking to a friend that has went through it also and getting on here but nothing seems to work. I just wish she would realize what she is doing.
Author eric85 Posted October 10, 2013 Author Posted October 10, 2013 its hard to keep living my life. Her and the kids our my life. That was my best friend/better half. I just don't get how it doesn't effect her that we don't speak at all after never going a day away from each other for 4 yrs.
Reels Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 its hard to keep living my life. Her and the kids our my life. That was my best friend/better half. I just don't get how it doesn't effect her that we don't speak at all after never going a day away from each other for 4 yrs. Indeed, never read such case before.
Author eric85 Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 I did some snooping but couldn't come up with anything. I am also friends with her mother and brother who both say she isnt seeing anyone she is just trying to focus on herself right now. She has been going through a lot these past few months and we have had some arguments. I was the one that started the fight that broke us up so I guess it wasn't really out of nowhere but we have had way worse and she's never acted like this. I guess I'm going to take all the advice and go NC
Author eric85 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 How can someone who was engaged and just saying how they couldn't wait to be my wife move on so quick? I was in a 4yr relationship with children, one of which I raised as a baby and only knows me as her father. She ended it 2 wks ago and is already talking with another guy. I know a lot of you are going to say it was going on for a while but I know 100% it wasnt. She didnt even know this man existed until 2 weeks ago. We had our ups and downs but we have made it through a lot together. She would always remind me how much I meant to her, I just don't see how she can completely forget and move on that fast. I cant eat, sleep or anything. I honestly have never felt this bad in my life. I know we were supposed to be together I just don't see what changed so fast. We got into an argument which I will take the blame for but it wasn't anything to end a relationship over. How are others coping with this that have been in similar relationships. Its just so hard because I would have never expected this. I'm just so hurt, I can literally feel my heart and soul hurting.
Mr Scorpio Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Dumpers often send out false signals of happiness immediately prior to ending a relationship. I believe this is because they have not yet decided whether or not to end the relationship, and want to have the relationship to fall back on if they don't decide to end it. It demonstrates immaturity, selfishness, and a lack of care for the now-former partner. My ex fed me the same lines in the weeks prior to dumping me. While we weren't engaged, she discussed it. She told me how much she missed me after being apart one day. So on and some other such. I coped by constantly posting and reading posts on this site, reading articles related to heartbreak, reading books about inner-peace, so on and so forth. In retrospect, I wish I had spent more time exercising and practicing guitar, but at the time I just didn't have the energy.
somebodyoutthere Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I feel your pain. I am going through something similar and it's been six months. The only advice I can offer is that in time some things will become clearer to you as to why your partner acted the way they did. You'll never get all the answers but some things do become clearer. And sometimes it's information you'd rather not hear but need to know about to move on. Take care of yourself, give yourself permission to cry, grieve and feel what you need to feel. Think about how much love you have and how it's going to make someone else so happy some day.
Reels Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 I can understand eric85... No matter what she(who i know) has done now, but even if she talks me once, i will revive. That's how i feel.
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