pdc1962 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) I have been reading the threads here and I have to admit it has me thinking clearer on things however I am at a confuse state right now. My situation is that I have been with someone for 2 1/2 years and she has the avoidance complex going on. This last situation was that we just had a great weekend and then she got home from a business trip and the excuse was to catch up on things at home, which I was ok with. The weekend before she left, I got up to leave for work and told her I loved her and have a safe trip and there was no response. An hour later I got a text saying that she loved me too. Well the following Sunday I got a text stating that she thinks she needs to be by herself and the relationship was holding her back from getting healthy. Well I stated that this should be a live conversation and not by text and she said I deserved that but doesn't want to get talked out of it again. Well I never have talked her out of staying in the relationship I have done the opposite by agreeing to walk away and letting her get healthy. 2 Weeks go by and I get a text on Sunday after church saying she is sorry and that she hopes that I am doing ok. Well I went with the NC since her break off but I responded to her that no need to apologize because I understand where she is at. Another week passed and last night I got an email from a friend letting me know that she sat with her at church and she was told that we have broken up. Well I sent an text last night asking why she told my friend this and did she happen to mention that this was her decision and I was only writing to vent my frustration. Well this morning she returned the text explaining why she said something but my wound was fresh. She sent another text stating that she thinks there should be no contact from here on. I agreed with this but I am totally loss on why she sent a text last week caring and no this week she wish's me the best and no more contact. Can anyone share anything for me? Edited October 7, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
melell Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 In my experience the month following the BU things change dramatically. People can care one minute, and the next minute have come up with a different plan on how to deal with it. It is incredibly unfair on the dumpee, but that is the reality of it. This is why nc is so important. Without it things are just a confusing mess.
flitzanu Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 I have been reading the threads here and I have to admit it has me thinking clearer on things however I am at a confuse state right now. My situation is that I have been with someone for 2 1/2 years and she has the avoidance complex going on. This last situation was that we just had a great weekend and then she got home from a business trip and the excuse was to catch up on things at home, which I was ok with. The weekend before she left, I got up to leave for work and told her I loved her and have a safe trip and there was no response. An hour later I got a text saying that she loved me too. Well the following Sunday I got a text stating that she thinks she needs to be by herself and the relationship was holding her back from getting healthy. Well I stated that this should be a live conversation and not by text and she said I deserved that but doesn't want to get talked out of it again. Well I never have talked her out of staying in the relationship I have done the opposite by agreeing to walk away and letting her get healthy. 2 Weeks go by and I get a text on Sunday after church saying she is sorry and that she hopes that I am doing ok. Well I went with the NC since her break off but I responded to her that no need to apologize because I understand where she is at. Another week passed and last night I got an email from a friend letting me know that she sat with her at church and she was told that we have broken up. Well I sent an text last night asking why she told my friend this and did she happen to mention that this was her decision and I was only writing to vent my frustration. Well this morning she returned the text explaining why she said something but my wound was fresh. She sent another text stating that she thinks there should be no contact from here on. I agreed with this but I am totally loss on why she sent a text last week caring and no this week she wish's me the best and no more contact. Can anyone share anything for me? there's nothing mixed in her message. she told you she is ending the relationship. just because she text you saying she hopes you are ok doesn't change the fact that she dumped you, and it has no relation to her dumping you. she wanted you out of her life, so stop talking to her.
Beautiful diamond Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 I have sorta been in her shoes. Where it seems like everything should work, but it's just not right. Sounds like she is trying to let you down gently. Do you call her often? Asks to hang out a lot? This may have been too much for her, and now she just wants out. I know, women claim they like an attentive man, but then run when they find one. The reason is there is a fine line between controlling/abusive and normal/caring. She thinks your relationship was a sinking ship, so she jumped. Please stop contacting her. She has no interest in having a relationship with the dynamics established. If you continue answering/initiating contact with her, she will get more mean and stern. Cut your losses. It's over.
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