skeoch100 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Hey everyone I broke up with ex 8 months ago, it was a mutual desicion, although we had a great relationaship and really liked each other it felt like something was missing... I get huge relationship anxiety and so does she, which didnt help, so we felt it may be best to split and broke on great terms. The relationship was awesome so the break up shattered me, anxiety, depression, regret, longing all of the classics!!! We ll ive been doing much much better, my ex has been keen to catch up for a while, just to see how I am, and she misses me.... So after being good and 8 months of NC i felt pretty good and happy to catch up for a drink. I was hoping I would feel lke ive moved on and not so emotionally attached to her, but It was like we had never been apart, maybe even better, we had such a great night and talked and got on well, apologizing for each others role in letting our anxieties get in the way of the relationship (mostly my fault), howver she also seemed that she thinks we did the right thing, and that we arnt compatible, no urge to reconcile, and that something wasnt right. I guess i feel the same, and I realy cant go through another break up just now, I get anxious just thinking about relationships at the mo! But the meeting has really set me back, feel like s""t today, it was great to know she still cares so much about me, and that she would still feel gutted to see me with someone, for the first time I get the impression that she did actually love me, but didnt have the certainty to say it in the relationship.... I just feel all the old feeling back and it sucks, I was just starting to move on, she has just started dating someone and it makes my stomach turn, i wish she hadnt told me.... I hope I can bounce back quick from this, it was great to see her but I want to stop this attachment, what a sap hey!! I guess im an advert for why NC is a must, even after 8 months... although part of me is glad to know she did love me, aaaaarggghh, any kind words would be appreciated, thanks guys x
Antares Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Skeotch, I'm in a simular place. I feel ya. When my ex broke up with me back in May, I was ok about it. I figured she just didn't really feel anything. A few months later she texted me after a family tragedy - I was the first person she thought of calling - and we had a few good texts. We chatted on the phone a month later and had an amazing talk. Talked about our summers, events, her family stuff, and then she started asking me if I was still single. She wanted to talk about it, but soon after she broke down and started crying. She said that the BU was hard on her, that she missed me everyday and cried. She said she wanted to call me but told herself not to. In the end, she still didn't want to try again. She said it's best to move forward. She said that she knows that she cares about me and after that call, I realized that it was HER who hadn't moved on yet. And for whatever reason, she was just not going to want to try again. But hearing her get emotional, that made me realize that we had something real. I've been doing fine since. I'm mean, I've been a bit bummed to be honest, but going on dates and meeting new girls. None that compare though. My only set back was a couple of weeks ago, I had a couple of very vivid dreams about her. She just showed up in my dream, and it caused me to miss her again. I guess these things take time. Let yourself feel the emotions and not feel guilty that you're still IN it. And next time, stay in NC. Even if you think you can handle it.
Author skeoch100 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Thanks Antares, Its hard isnt it? Its almost easier to be pissed at the other person, to have a reason to take them down off the pedestal and feel good about having them out of your life.. Having her still care feels nice, but fills my brain with what if's, im pretty sure she doesnt want to reconcile, or she would of made it clear she did... Her dating this other guy makes me feel awful, but may actually help me move on, its hard to take but im just gonna put it out of my head and get on with my life!
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