Babyribs Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 How can i let someone go? i need to get out of an abusive relationship but its too hard to let go of it, even thou i know is not good for me. how can i stop loving? i love her so much but she uses me and abuses me, when she meets someone new she treats me like crap and doesnt even want to talk to me why do i hurt? this has been something that happens offen in our relationship, she meets someone and trows me away should i stop contacting her? most people say that when you let someone go and they come back is yours if it doesnt then it never was. but if i use the no contact rule and she moves on i would hurt more. Here's the story this girl and i have been going out for about 3 months now, "we had a relationship of 3 years before this" and i am tired of the bull she keeps trowing my way, she hits me, verbally abuses me, treats me really bad, and its all about what she can get and cant get. when she cant get anything out of me she then starts looking for friends "new ones at that" she saids she needs to have her own friends, people i wont know or meet. WHY? if we are in this relationship why does she need that much privacy? i understand that she needs her own friends but why can i at least know who they are? why so much secrets. i feel a little hurt right now, i want out and i dont know how, i NEED TO FIND MYSELF and do better for me. if anyone understand anything i have writen here can you please give me some inputs ASK ME ANYTHING, i am too overwelmed to write everything down i think questions can help me focus better. thank you all
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 First things first: YOU First step: set up couseling for yourself. Second step: relearn what it is to have self esteem, and then work through counseling to build it up. Third step: work on your assertiveness to the point where you can tell your girlfriend how you feel about what she is doing to you. Fourth step: Make a decision. You can choose to stay in this relationship, or you can go. Hopefully through counselling and working on your self-esteem, you'll be able to make the right choice for yourself. If you will not consider counseling, then you are faced with the same choice. You just won't have the strength you need to make it and nothing will change. Someone has to change in this relationship. I can already tell you that your girlfriend won't change. It has to be you. I'm sorry.
SpaceCoyote Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 She hits you??? I am a big believer in trying to work out problems, but this doesn't sound like its going to happen. It doesn't even sound like there is a foundation here to build a strong relationship on. I know there is a comfort in somone you have been with for a while or really know well, so it is hard to let go or believe that they aren't right for you. But trust me, you deserve better than someone who clearly treats you horribly and has no respect for you. And a lot of that is probably because you allow her to. I am probably the last person right now who should be professing the merits of "hope" but I think I can confidently say here: there is someone better for you out there.
moimeme Posted December 3, 2004 Posted December 3, 2004 Call a domestic abuse hotline. Abuse is not just male-to-female. They should be able to help you find a good counsellor.
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