hotpotato Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 I would want my stuff back. My philosophy about break ups and possessions is this-give their stuff back asap. This cuts their ties to you. I also think its in good taste to give back things that are not yours. Ive given stuff back to exes. You dont have to make conversation. Just keep it brief. Ship it. Give it to mutual friends.
KatZee Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 put her things in a plastic bag. Tell her that they will be outside your door at X time and she should get them then. I get attached to my clothes too. Seriously. Those are her things. Put them in a bag and tell her to come pick them up. That's her property, so return the items and then move on with your life. I would be just as annoyed as she is. Get over the emotions for a second and just give her property back. You don't have to be so spiteful or immature to throw her things on her driveway. Then you can block her and you'll have no reason to respond to any sort of contact she may or may not make.
Author Kozmo Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 well, i have to contact her if i'm going to mail it, i don't know if she still lives with her roommate or got her own place. i don't even know if she really wants them back, she did say "forget the clothes." i need advice how to contact her, i don't want to be a jerk anymore.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 well, i have to contact her if i'm going to mail it, i don't know if she still lives with her roommate or got her own place. i don't even know if she really wants them back, she did say "forget the clothes." i need advice how to contact her, i don't want to be a jerk anymore. "I have your clothes _______. If you want them back, I will put them outside my door at _______ on _______. Please come pick them up by then. Thanks" Whatever she answers, just say "okay" then bam done. Dont read anymore into it. 1
lollipopspot Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 If you want any of your own stuff back you can add - "if you've still got anything of mine, you can drop it off when you pick your stuff up. Thank you."
Author Kozmo Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 i'm thinking about saying it like this.. "(ex's name) look, things have been getting out of hand, and i hope you understand i am acting the way i am. if you really want your clothes back let me know how you would like to acquire them."
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 i'm thinking about saying it like this.. "(ex's name) look, things have been getting out of hand, and i hope you understand i am acting the way i am. if you really want your clothes back let me know how you would like to acquire them." No....because again, you are hoping that if you are all nice with things, then she contacts you with something nice...which THEN leads to reconciliation. If its incredibly obvious to us, then you KNOW its incredibly obvious to her too. Grow a backbone dude. All she wanted was her clothes. If there was an alternate motive behind it, then it was just for her own benefit, not yours. Just give her the crap, do not contact her anymore, and live your life. Its too short to be consumed in this. 1
Author Kozmo Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 No....because again, you are hoping that if you are all nice with things, then she contacts you with something nice...which THEN leads to reconciliation. If its incredibly obvious to us, then you KNOW its incredibly obvious to her too. Grow a backbone dude. All she wanted was her clothes. If there was an alternate motive behind it, then it was just for her own benefit, not yours. Just give her the crap, do not contact her anymore, and live your life. Its too short to be consumed in this. what's wrong with reconciliation? i want her back.
Beautiful diamond Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 If you want her back convince her top come over to talk. Tell her you need her, you love her, you want to work it out, romance her....bingo
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 (edited) If you want her back convince her top come over to talk. Tell her you need her, you love her, you want to work it out, romance her....bingo Good god NO!!!! You do this, then you just come off as looking even worse than you actually are. We had this conversation a while back Kozmo....Look, she broke up with you because she is done with the relationship. You've already overdone a lot of this from the past (fake engagement or whatever, quotes you were looking at on facebook THINKING they were about you, asking her if she still loved you, etc etc etc). You've already pressed it enough. Its not your job to sit there and try to wine and dine her or whatever. She did this to YOU, not the other way around. She CLEARLY knows how you feel....so IF and ONLY IF there was EVER a chance of reconciliation, SHE would have to do it, NOT you. That chance is already slim to none. Being nice doesnt automatically mean "Oh I shouldnt have left him." Moving on, GOING ACTUAL NO CONTACT (not what you are doing currently), and becoming better off in the long run is the ONLY way that happens. The chance of you guys EVER getting back together are INCREDIBLY slim, but forcing the hand wont do it. Confessing your undying love is even worse. Edited October 8, 2013 by ConfusedHumanBeing 2
Beautiful diamond Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Good god NO!!!! You do this, then you just come off as looking even worse than you actually are. We had this conversation a while back Kozmo....Look, she broke up with you because she is done with the relationship. You've already overdone a lot of this from the past (fake engagement or whatever, quotes you were looking at on facebook THINKING they were about you, asking her if she still loved you, etc etc etc). You've already pressed it enough. Its not your job to sit there and try to wine and dine her or whatever. She did this to YOU, not the other way around. She CLEARLY knows how you feel....so IF and ONLY IF there was EVER a chance of reconciliation, SHE would have to do it, NOT you. That chance is already slim to none. Being nice doesnt automatically mean "Oh I shouldnt have left him." Moving on, GOING ACTUAL NO CONTACT (not what you are doing currently), and becoming better off in the long run is the ONLY way that happens. The chance of you guys EVER getting back together are INCREDIBLY slim, but forcing the hand wont do it. Confessing your undying love is even worse. He's right. She should do the chasing. Stay strong Kozmo!!!
Author Kozmo Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 Good god NO!!!! You do this, then you just come off as looking even worse than you actually are. We had this conversation a while back Kozmo....Look, she broke up with you because she is done with the relationship. You've already overdone a lot of this from the past (fake engagement or whatever, quotes you were looking at on facebook THINKING they were about you, asking her if she still loved you, etc etc etc). You've already pressed it enough. Its not your job to sit there and try to wine and dine her or whatever. She did this to YOU, not the other way around. She CLEARLY knows how you feel....so IF and ONLY IF there was EVER a chance of reconciliation, SHE would have to do it, NOT you. That chance is already slim to none. Being nice doesnt automatically mean "Oh I shouldnt have left him." Moving on, GOING ACTUAL NO CONTACT (not what you are doing currently), and becoming better off in the long run is the ONLY way that happens. The chance of you guys EVER getting back together are INCREDIBLY slim, but forcing the hand wont do it. Confessing your undying love is even worse. i'm not going to confess my love for her. i really just want to stop fighting and her to stop these games. we are both in no shape to reconcile anyways, i just want to bury the hatchet. 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 i'm not going to confess my love for her. i really just want to stop fighting and her to stop these games. we are both in no shape to reconcile anyways, i just want to bury the hatchet. Mmm hmm. So you bury the hatchet and whatever...THEN what happens? What are you going to do then? Truth be told....being mean or nice won't really matter in the grand scheme of things, so what you wish, but I'd suggest not putting so much stock into this. Just give her the stuff and move on. 1
reddragon588 Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 i'm not going to confess my love for her. i really just want to stop fighting and her to stop these games. we are both in no shape to reconcile anyways, i just want to bury the hatchet. Reminds me of when I was struggling to quit smoking. Can't remember how many times I said this. "I'll just have this last cigarette, I am in no shape to smoke it, but I just want to feel that feeling one last time." 1
Author Kozmo Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 Mmm hmm. So you bury the hatchet and whatever...THEN what happens? What are you going to do then? Truth be told....being mean or nice won't really matter in the grand scheme of things, so what you wish, but I'd suggest not putting so much stock into this. Just give her the stuff and move on. bury the hatchet, then make sweet, sweet love to her. naw, but really i just want my bestfriend back. we were so good together before we hooked up.
Author Kozmo Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 Reminds me of when I was struggling to quit smoking. Can't remember how many times I said this. "I'll just have this last cigarette, I am in no shape to smoke it, but I just want to feel that feeling one last time." you know life is too short to hold grudges towards someone you once loved. all this fighting i've done with her is straight up bullsh*t. we're like kids fighting over toys, pointing the finger when someone gets hurt.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 bury the hatchet, then make sweet, sweet love to her. naw, but really i just want my bestfriend back. we were so good together before we hooked up. You are CLEARLY not in the shape to be friends at this point. MILES away actually. Are you cool hearing she is with other people? Are you cool hearing about her sex life? Are you cool with hearing if she got engaged? I'm not a huge believer of being friends with ex's, but I can see how it happens. I'm only actually friends with one ex of who I dated when I was 19 (I'm 27 now), and even now, even after being friends with her for eight years, my stomach might still roll a bit if I heard she got married. Until you are indifferent with anything I just mentioned, friends will NEVER happen. You are just feeling that HUGE gap from where she was filled, which is very normal, but trying to just be friends to fill it is a recipe for disaster. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 If you want her back convince her top come over to talk. Tell her you need her, you love her, you want to work it out, romance her....bingo Ugh, someone watches way too many rom-coms. 3
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