Kozmo Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 so its been awhile since i talked to my ex, all of the sudden last week she emails me to mail her clothes back that she left at my house and to reply by the end of the week. i just ignored her, but the next day she texts "read your email asap." again i ignored her. the next night she sends yet another email, telling me off, saying i'm immature for not responding and that i'll "never see her again, forget the clothes and forget ever seeing me again. i regret thinking you would listen." i finally got pissed off and responded, saying "i'm using no contact to heal myself. what makes you think i should do any favors for you anyways, i never felt appreciated. you told me to contact you by the end of the week and it's only wednesday! i'm tired of having this war with you. " she hasn't responded since and seems pretty angry over this. why does she want her clothes back so bad?? she her closet is overflowing with clothes. is it just an excuse to contact me because i haven't been bothering her?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 so its been awhile since i talked to my ex, all of the sudden last week she emails me to mail her clothes back that she left at my house and to reply by the end of the week. i just ignored her, but the next day she texts "read your email asap." again i ignored her. the next night she sends yet another email, telling me off, saying i'm immature for not responding and that i'll "never see her again, forget the clothes and forget ever seeing me again. i regret thinking you would listen." i finally got pissed off and responded, saying "i'm using no contact to heal myself. what makes you think i should do any favors for you anyways, i never felt appreciated. you told me to contact you by the end of the week and it's only wednesday! i'm tired of having this war with you. " she hasn't responded since and seems pretty angry over this. why does she want her clothes back so bad?? she her closet is overflowing with clothes. is it just an excuse to contact me because i haven't been bothering her? Could probably mean a couple of things, but none of them are important because they are all for her own motives. I wouldnt even have responded, but whats done is done. Dont talk to her anymore and keep moving forward. 2
Author Kozmo Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Could probably mean a couple of things, but none of them are important because they are all for her own motives. I wouldnt even have responded, but whats done is done. Dont talk to her anymore and keep moving forward. i know i messed up by breaking NC, but i was just curious why it was so urgent to get back something pointless.
lauri Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 The best thing to do is ignore her. If she wants to really have her stuff back, I would suggest emailing her back telling her a day to come. Have a friend/family member be at your place when she comes to pick up her stuff so you do not need to see her. In the end, her motives shouldn't matter. Its done, shouldn't even be apart of your thoughts anymore. Focus those thoughts and feelings on people who are worth your time and worth your energy...not someone who doesn't care about how you feel or loves you anymore.
CarrieT Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Just mail her stuff back without giving her the satisfaction of contact. Easy. 5
Bubberfly Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 i know i messed up by breaking NC, but i was just curious why it was so urgent to get back something pointless. If honestly send her an email stating, your stuff will be in a box in front of my place. Pick it up by x time or I will be throwing it away. After that, I would appreciate you no longer contacting me. Make sure you're not there at that time. If she doesn't pick up her crap, it's her loss. You don't want to risk something silly like small claims court if she wants to be stupid over something like clothes.
Bubberfly Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Just mail her stuff back without giving her the satisfaction of contact. Easy. Don't think she's worth the postage hahaha
lollipopspot Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 put her things in a plastic bag. Tell her that they will be outside your door at X time and she should get them then. I get attached to my clothes too. 1
CarrieT Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Don't think she's worth the postage But your integrity is worth the postage. You have something that does not belong to you. Just return it. hahaha It is not a laughing matter. 3
lollipopspot Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Or throw the bag with her clothes on her porch, text her, and be done with it.
lauri Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I agree with what everyone is saying above. Give her back her stuff - its not nice to keep it. I understand you want to maintain NC for yourself but you should also be the better person in the long run regarding something that isn't yours. 2
skydiveaddict Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 so its been awhile since i talked to my ex, all of the sudden last week she emails me to mail her clothes back that she left at my house and to reply by the end of the week. Mail her clothes to the street in front of your house. No postage needed. No need to buy packing material either. Just a sign on them that says "free".
Salvatore85 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 The stuff I left behind when I packed up and left were worth thousands and I haven't asked for any of it....I just wanted out and I can always buy new STUFF
Author Kozmo Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 the thing is i left all my clothes at her house and she still keeping them. then i saw a picture of her wearing my baseball jersey to a game! wtf! it's not like i want to keep her clothes, i just didn't want to deal with her period.
lollipopspot Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Tell her to bring a bag with your clothes, when she comes to pick up hers. You might not care about your clothes. She may or may not care about hers. But for whatever reason she wants them back. In order to be done with this and not hear from her again, just package them up and either leave them for her outside or drop them off. I think it's just the right thing to do, to end it.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 the thing is i left all my clothes at her house and she still keeping them. then i saw a picture of her wearing my baseball jersey to a game! wtf! it's not like i want to keep her clothes, i just didn't want to deal with her period. If you saw her picture wearing your jersey, then you really arent going no contact. 1
Author Kozmo Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 If you saw her picture wearing your jersey, then you really arent going no contact. it was on our mutual friends feed.
lop98 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 another aspect of NC is removing all the memory triggers, you may not see the clothes when you open the door but you know it's all still there. I think there's also a bit of manipulation on both sides through these objects. Just get rid of them, if you don't want to give that stuff back and don't feel it's equal because she hasn't mentioned yours, fine, but just end that war you claim to be tired of and throw that **** away, and proceed to try real NC for the first time by blocking her number.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Just mail the stuff back with no note and no explanation.
Beautiful diamond Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) She is playing games and you are falling for it. I'm guessing this is how you two have always communicated? She makes demands, you resist, she explodes, you give in. Good of you to resist her at first but bad of you to respond, like old times. She was looking to upset you and succeeded. Mail her her stuff or leave it outside your door, doesn't really matter,just get rid of ALL OF IT. Then cut all ties, ALL. If you truly want to be over her, you can't do it gently. Change your number, block her on social media, etc. This lets her know you now have a back bone. Being that she does not, she will be done with you, because you are not easy prey anymore, and no longer easy to get a rise from. Again, give/mail/whatever her ALL her stuff. Leave no stone unturned. You can't move on and still have ways for her to communicate with you..... Stay strong! Edited October 7, 2013 by Beautiful diamond
Author Kozmo Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 She is playing games and you are falling for it. I'm guessing this is how you two have always communicated? She makes demands, you resist, she explodes, you give in. Good of you to resist her at first but bad of you to respond, like old times. She was looking to upset you and succeeded. Mail her her stuff or leave it outside your door, doesn't really matter,just get rid of ALL OF IT. Then cut all ties, ALL. If you truly want to be over her, you can't do it gently. Change your number, block her on social media, etc. This lets her know you now have a back bone. Being that she does not, she will be done with you, because you are not easy prey anymore, and no longer easy to get a rise from. Again, give/mail/whatever her ALL her stuff. Leave no stone unturned. You can't move on and still have ways for her to communicate with you..... Stay strong! yeah, i am so disappointed in myself for responding. i thought about driving to her house and throwing the clothes in her driveway, lol. i know she wants me to give her attention and she will always find a way to get to me. she knows i still want her though, but continues to still hurt me.
Chi townD Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 yeah, i am so disappointed in myself for responding. i thought about driving to her house and throwing the clothes in her driveway, lol. i know she wants me to give her attention and she will always find a way to get to me. she knows i still want her though, but continues to still hurt me. Nah, that's kind of a low thing to do. Flicking her clothes out the window as you drive by. immature. What you need to do is collect up all of her clothes. Fold them up and box them. Even be a nice guy about it and wash them before you box them up! I hear beach works really good on getting any stain out!
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 If you saw her picture wearing your jersey, then you really arent going no contact. Then block her and block mutual friends. Quit trying to find ways to try and see whats going on with her. Only hinders you longer. I agree with what everyone is saying on here. Leave her stuff out somewhere for her to get it or throw it out. Either way, time to finally move on here. If you dont, you will still be stuck where you are now, if not MUCH worse. Do you REALLY want to better yourself and actually move forward? Then ACTUAL no contact will have to be used.
Chi townD Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 Nah, that's kind of a low thing to do. Flicking her clothes out the window as you drive by. immature. What you need to do is collect up all of her clothes. Fold them up and box them. Even be a nice guy about it and wash them before you box them up! I hear beach works really good on getting any stain out! BLEACH!! Damn, I can screw up a good joke...
Beautiful diamond Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 yeah, i am so disappointed in myself for responding. i thought about driving to her house and throwing the clothes in her driveway, lol. i know she wants me to give her attention and she will always find a way to get to me. she knows i still want her though, but continues to still hurt me. Don't beat yourself up. Just never do it again. I agree with the other posters, return all her stuff nicely, then go NC. Why do you still want to be with her?
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