hew Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Im in my second year of university... should be all rays of sunshine and what not, but it isnt. I live in a small apartment with a roommate.. but she is very anti social and never leaves her room and its very weird living there. I never lived on residence so i never really made any friends at school which is hard. My best friend just got a boyfriend a month or so ago and i hardly see/hear from her anymore and she has no time for me. It sucks because i would never do that to her.. i would make time for her because she will always be important to me. I talked to her and all that but nothing makes a difference. My house in my home town is for sale because my mom is moving in with her boyfriend and i just had to give up my dog because we cant take care of her anymore. I cant even explain all the feelings i have.. i have dealt with depression for 5 or 6 years now and it gets hard to live with. I just wish i could make a close friendship with someone... someone who is cool to hangout with and not judge mental and gossipy and someone who is down to earth. I sometimes think about self harm again to relieve my pain. I used to always hurt myself but im starting to fall back into my bad habits. I'm always miserable and angry and i wouldnt want to be around me either if i was someone else... but i have no choice but to deal with myself. I wish i was happy, i know happiness is a choice and some days i try my hardest to work towards it but it always fails. I take my anger out on the most important person to me which is my mom... i only have her since my dad is a complete ******* and has nothing to do with me. I havent seen him in 3 years. I get so angry and i dont know why. I hate myself too which doesnt help. I could rant for ages but it does no good, i cant even clearly express myself in this post. I just want to know im not alone, i dont know if there is even advice i could get from this, but letting it all out and just having other people respond sometimes helps a lot.
I-Love-Liberty Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 No one is going to provide happiness for you except yourself and really, no one wants to be around someone that doesn't love them self. Do things you like to do, be creative and if you don't think you have anything to do that you enjoy, then find new things. The possibilities in life are endless and we all get exactly what we deserve, nothing more, nothing less. You're not alone either, so don't feel that way. Life has ups and downs, we all gotta get through the downs.
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