Bubberfly Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Hi all. As I've written in my other posts, my fiance of 6 years and I are breaking up. He hasn't been communicative at all the last few days, but we've been civil to eachother. I told him that I'm hoping to move out within the week, he offered to help me move my larger items. I told him that I think it would be best if we remain in NC after I got myself settled in. He completely freaked out at this. I asked him why my saying this would bother him so much, seeing as I was the dumpee. He kept saying I don't know, I don't know. I told him I really wasn't trying to be mean, I'm doing what I think is best for both of us. Why do you think he would get so upset at the idea of NC if he was the one who didn't want to be with me?
BC1980 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Because he wants the fringe benefits of a relationship without actually committing to be in the relationship. It happens very often. 2
Beautiful diamond Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Power, control, panicking. He doesn't want you to move on so quickly. He expected you to beg, plead, and be a wreck. So you asking for NC is bruising his ego. Tread carefully. A man with a bruised ego will be likely to retaliate. Be prepared for him to try to rebound, change his number, throw dirt in your name, screw a bunch of women, etc. Don't back down though,he choose this. 1
cif Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 It could also be that the reality of you two breaking up hasnt hit him yet. Do not give in. NC really is the best way to move on.
Mariposa10 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 He didn't think of you when he broke up with you, not it's time to think about YOU and YOUR feelings. What will ease the pain a little bit? NC.
Author Bubberfly Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Thanks you guys. You all make very good points. He and I had gone through a break up before and even then I wasn't strong enough for NC. We ended up getting back together and it was the same thing (same relationship problems as before. Same reason to break up too). I know for a fact now that I do not want to be with this person. I feel like I deserve better than to be strung along. It's good to know this is a normal reaction for him to behave this way. I was very confused by his reaction. Now I feel a little more clarity.
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