What would you expect your bf/gf to do in a situation like this?

[purplesoccer34]

For the past year, I was in a relationship with a guy I've known since I was very young. Even before we started dating, we a part of a group of close friends, and still are. However, several girls in our friends group were completely head over heels for him. I could tell that they were often competing with me for his attention. My ex knew that these girls liked him, and so while we all hung out, it made me very uncomfortable.

 

My ex never made it obvious to them that he really liked me (even though it seemed that way when we were alone). In fact, when we all hung out, he would barely talk to me--he would talk to those girls more than he talked to me--they're very loud and outgoing, and I'm very quiet, so that could be why. Maybe that's why it made me so uncomfortable? I didn't mind him talking to them, but often times, it seemed like he treated me just like he treated them. At times, he would show extreme excitement when any of these girls showed up to a party or whatever, but he never did that to me.

 

There were one or two moments (in the year that we went out) that he would put his arm around me or something in front of our friends, and during those moments, these girls would become very jealous and just wouldn't speak to me. It also made me uncomfortable knowing that my ex knew all of this, yet, he would often hang out with them alone. Maybe I was just paranoid though.

 

In a situation like this, what would you expect your boyfriend/girlfriend to do? Would you expect them to give you any special attention and make it known to the world that they are with you?

[Beautiful diamond]

I would expect them to be themselves regardless of who's around. If he acts differently that's a red flag. Don't be his secret. I would just move on. It's not right to ignore you in public, basically.

[Never Again]

I would expect to be acknowledged as the significant other, but I'd be careful on how I brought it up.

 

Don't be his secret, but don't let yourself seem insecure either. Let him know that it's hurting you to feel ignored, but don't make it about these other girls. It's not about how others view you, but about how he makes you feel.

 

My suggestion? Talk to him about it, and be honest but not needy. If he objects or gives you grief, move on. Don't let yourself be a doormat.