Kaleidoscope12 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Well hello everyone! This is my first post and I'm already looking forward to bouncing ideas off of others to help cope with what a lot of us go through during a break-up.....anxiety. Anxiety ranges in and out of people and effects us all differently, but having a past with anxiety disorders does not make it any easier in such a fragile time. I know this and want to talk about it because I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I'm starting to feel those uncontrollable pangs of anxiety that are getting more and more intense. I'm pretty shocked that they are coming back...but at the same time...I just am in the first stages of all of this and OF COURSE it makes sense that I'm feeling this way! Thats what we all need to tell each other....that this is NORMAL! This anxiety is OK! Anxiety is produced out of fear, and it helps to pin point where that fear is coming up. So therefore, I have created my own 'fear list': Recent Break-Up Fears -Not ending it well. BUT WHO DOES???? I did break-up with him over the phone which I feel horrible about...this relationship deserved better. -Being alone. Again, NORMAL! But this is by far the biggest producer of that fear. What I Know I Don't Fear -Losing someone who is not that special after all. This where I know I broke up with him for the right reasons. I could get more in detail of the relationship but thats not my purpose now. Maybe in another post when I really need to talk more. This post was meant to reach out to those who suffer from anxiety and how they cope with it and what strategies work for them. I gave my example of forming 'fear lists' as they do help alleviate some of that anxiety by knowing where the fear is coming from. So yes.....please put in your input and lets share and battle this anxiety together!!
wavejumper Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 meditation and mindfulness practices have shown to reduce anxiety considerably.
Never Again Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) What I Know I Don't Fear -Losing someone who is not that special after all. This where I know I broke up with him for the right reasons. No one is THAT special. Now, without knowing the particulars of your situation, I want to be clear that I'm not attacking you - you may have had great reasons. However, while I don't mean to sound bitter or cynical, that point of "someone not that special" is something dumpees need to consider more and what some dumpers need to consider less. People get all wrapped up in finding someone "special", someone that makes them feel "that way" all the time with no work, someone with whom they are 100% compatible, or who is fun and exciting FOR them, without having to put an ounce of work in themselves. I'm constantly hearing of dumpers who expected their significant others to be responsible for their happiness and excitement. No one is "special" enough to fit unrealistic criteria or expectations, and if they can, it is an illusion that will fade in time and contribute to our high divorce/separation rate ;-) The point I'm trying to make? This fear you mentioned is something ALL dumpees should ingrain into themselves! The dumper is not that special...the fact that they left proves that, and the anxiety of being rejected should be replaced with relief. Edited October 7, 2013 by Pfenixphire 1
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