flitzanu Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 so for 16 months this girl hasn't spoken a word to you or tried to get in touch...why do you even think it's a good idea to contact her when she is showing zero interest at all to speak to you?
fluberry Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Avoid all contact is the best way to move on . Breakup is painful cos' it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Encourage yourself to let go of the hurtful breakup.Don't pressure yourself as to when you should get to get over your ex ,cos' it just doesn't work that way. Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself.Have faith in yourself .
Coping Vortex Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 If you feel like you cannot move on without reaching out to her once more, then do what you need to do. HOWEVER, be ready to deal with the emotions that may arise if she does not respond in the way you were hoping...are you prepared for that? If she rejects you, will you finally be able to move on with your life? Think really hard. Do you really want her back after she hurt you and broke your trust the way she did? Even if an ex were to come back to the person they dumped and begged for forgiveness and a second chance..the reality that the relationship will succeed is slim. In this case, you are initiating the contact..the outlook is grim. An ex of mine contacted me saying pretty much the same thing you are planning on saying. He was never able to move on although the break up was mutual. I had moved on completely from him and it irritated me to hear from him. He didn't respect my wishes to and continued to contact me...which turned me off to him even more. I outright blocked his email and phone number. Think hard...and do what feels best for you. There is no right or wrong answer here...you just have to figure out what you want out of this and how best to move forward. No matter what happens after you send her the message...will you be able to move forward with your life? Best of luck. I agree with this poster says. One of the problems in the world is communication. Then people start assuming what someone will say or do. You never know until you do it. As much I agree with most of the posters say here I have done exactly what you did. I reached out to an ex GF after two year of NC. To my surprise she responded and we eventually got back together and had an even better relationship. She assumed I didn't want to talk to her LOL! But this is probably not the norm. I think if enough time goes by bad feelings erode and you maybe surprised that she might want to catch up, as a friend of course. Then you would have to see where it takes you. Just remember most of the time things just are never the same and the memory you had is not reality now. You can get back to what you remember. You may find you are the one that wouldn't want her back. if you contact her contact her as a friend that would like to catch. don't have any other expectations.
Author Sameold Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Very interesting, I mean I would never initiate talk to her whilst she's with her current bf as he was involved in our break up. I'm very sure they will get engaged etc soon anyway but who knows if she was single then maybe one day we could talk. Speaking to her sister was just to pass a message and not much more, I just didn't want my ex thinking she could never contact me again cus I hated her
Simon Phoenix Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 (edited) Never mind, you already did. You shouldn't be using the family for an "in" though, that comes off as manipulative and shady. Edited October 12, 2013 by Simon Phoenix 1
dolita Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 when we get dumped we get selfish lol, it's the inner ego that needs approval again. everything in your email to her = me me me she cannot connect to this and she will be like what the hell?? because she doesn't really care about you anymore why spill your feelings out and make her read it? it's just selfish and inconsiderate. If you could talk about her feelings it might make her more comfortable and interested reading it. we all think if we confess our feelings they would be touched and come back... that's false, confessing feelings doesn't work, expressing feelings work (like drawing an art piece, playing a song, etc). anything that screams 'look at me, i want attention' is very transparent and unattractive.
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