CNE181 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 My boyfriend just broke up with me about a week ago and due to unfortunate circumstances (lease, nobody to move in with, no money saved up yet), we are both forced to live together with our roommates until the lease is up. Things were kinda a little weird between us for the first few days so to make things less weird for the both of us and the other roommates, I bought him a six pack of his favorite beer as a "peace offering" of sorts and told him I would like to work on being friends as he suggested. This has proven to be pretty easy since the split wasn't bad and we both seem to be acting like adults about it at this point. However, what I am concerned about is lingering feelings. The night I gave him the "peace offering" and said "let's try to be friends to make things good for everyone living here," he said "he really missed talking to me," and we were talking on the couch for a while and showing each other stuff on our laptops and whatever just like old times. I told him though that he did not have to stay upstairs with me just cause I bought him the beer, cause he normally would be downstairs video gaming at that time of night (that's what he's been doing for the past week, anyway), and he said he didn't feel like going downstairs yet, that he'd go in a little bit. He ended up staying upstairs talking and whatever until almost 2 in the morning, at which point I called it a night and went upstairs. My point is, I didn't expect him to sit there with me until 2 in the morning when his usual habit is to play video games downstairs till 4 or 5 in the morning. Was he just being nice? It would be nice to put my mind at ease, so any advice/a new perspective would be greatly appreciated:)
Beautiful diamond Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Your looking for signs that he still wants to be with you. But if he did he would just tell you. Men are not like women. If they break up with you they probably had a good reason. He is being nice because you are. He probably is hoping for a friends with benefit situation. Hence, talking in the room til 2am. Be nice but don't set yourself up to be used......
Author CNE181 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Good point. I hadn't even really considered that. I am not really looking for signs he wants to get back together, rather I am just trying to make things work while we have to live here. I was hoping my little peace treaty haha wouldn't turn into him thinking of a "friends with benefits" situation cause that is not something I want.
Beautiful diamond Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 That's good that you are adjusting so well. But I fear he thinks you want him back. I hope you guys can remain friendly.
Author CNE181 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 I did ask him why he lingered when I told him he didn't have to, and the response he gave me was "he didn't feel like going downstairs." I understand that even though it is out of character for him, I just didn't expect him to want to sit there and talk/hang out with me till 2am. Did I mess up the whole just being friends thing? What should I do?
Beautiful diamond Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 No you didn't mess it up. He is just testing the water. He wants to see what he can get from you without being your bf. I definitely would not have another long talk with him. You two need as much space as possible. If you still treat him the same although you aren't together, he is going to take advantage of you. Then if you asks if he wants you back, he will play games and string you along. Best thing is to make it clear to him things have changed. No more intimate moments, long talks, cut that all off. Let him know he can't have his cake and eat it too.
Author CNE181 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Okay, I'll definitely take that into consideration. Thank you for all the advice. Still a little heartbroken, but getting better day by day 1
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