HighheelsAries Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Twice is a pattern. Time to move on and find someone with a minimum of manners.
deathandtaxes Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 LOL. Well put. Your words say it all. Another thing that makes me angry is that before dinner was over, I was thinking to myself that this might actually go somewhere, and I think she is genuinely interested. I just feel so disrespected and let down from her that another date isn't going to happen, and she will never know why. You don't know what's going on in that head of her's. Why not ask to go on another date to see what she says? She could have had a bad night. You never know! If you had a good time, and it appears she did, then ask for another! Missteps can often happen on first dates. People get nervous and say or do stupid things. But don't get mad. She doesn't owe you anything. And sometimes people just don't say thanks when they probably should. It could be a temporary lapse in manners. If it's part of who she is, then you probably don't want to date her. But wouldn't you want to find out? What do you have to lose?
cif Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I sent her a message last night about the whole not thanking me thing. Now today I feel like kind of an ass. I think she needed to hear it though. Did she respond?
Suziee Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I always offer to pay my share of the tab. When I go on a first date with someone I meet on a dating site, it's for the purpose of trying to get to know each other, beyond the initial emails, and finding out if we have the chemistry to base a possible relationship on. I don't feel right expecting the guy to pay, because I feel it's demeaning--it's like saying that a guy can buy my company for the price of a dinner (or a drink). Paying my way also makes me not feel beholden or guilty when I end up not wanting to see the guy again, as is often the case. That being said, if a guy insists on paying (chivalry, trying to impress me), I'm not gonna fight him but I certainly will be appreciative with a follow up email or text. And, if I like the guy, I will offer to buy dinner for the second date. On the other hand, my girlfriends, who are single and consider themselves independent, have criticized me for even offering to pay. One of them actually said that dating (even guys she had no interest in) was a means to go out and have a free dinner. Ugh! If you're the kind of guy who insists on paying for the first date, be observant on how your date conducts herself--whether she's acting all entitled, or if she's gracious and appreciative of your treating her out to dinner. She should make an effort to communicate with you (thank you) after the date and, if she really likes you, she will ask you out for a second date. Some women just have the personality to act all nice and attentive on a date but may not necessarily be interested in anything beyond that. A very shy, modest woman might not be ready for a kiss on a second date but there should be other indications (body language, texts, emails, phone calls) that she likes you and might just like to take things slowly. And there should definitely be some initiative to reciprocate--whether it's to bring you a gift, baking you cookies or inviting you over for dinner.
WhiteButton Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I always offer to pay my share of the tab. When I go on a first date with someone I meet on a dating site, it's for the purpose of trying to get to know each other, beyond the initial emails, and finding out if we have the chemistry to base a possible relationship on. I don't feel right expecting the guy to pay, because I feel it's demeaning--it's like saying that a guy can buy my company for the price of a dinner (or a drink). Paying my way also makes me not feel beholden or guilty when I end up not wanting to see the guy again, as is often the case. That being said, if a guy insists on paying (chivalry, trying to impress me), I'm not gonna fight him but I certainly will be appreciative with a follow up email or text. And, if I like the guy, I will offer to buy dinner for the second date. On the other hand, my girlfriends, who are single and consider themselves independent, have criticized me for even offering to pay. One of them actually said that dating (even guys she had no interest in) was a means to go out and have a free dinner. Ugh! If you're the kind of guy who insists on paying for the first date, be observant on how your date conducts herself--whether she's acting all entitled, or if she's gracious and appreciative of your treating her out to dinner. She should make an effort to communicate with you (thank you) after the date and, if she really likes you, she will ask you out for a second date. Some women just have the personality to act all nice and attentive on a date but may not necessarily be interested in anything beyond that. A very shy, modest woman might not be ready for a kiss on a second date but there should be other indications (body language, texts, emails, phone calls) that she likes you and might just like to take things slowly. And there should definitely be some initiative to reciprocate--whether it's to bring you a gift, baking you cookies or inviting you over for dinner. Suzee, i think its really great of you to offer and pay and i like the way you think. Believe me we as guys will appreciate this more then you think. As i said earlier i dont expect the girl to pay if she doesnt its not a deal breaker for me, if i am taking the girl out i am going with intention to pay for her. As for your friends that just date guys for a free meal, any self respecting guy will figure them out fast. Those types do not get an offer on second date from me. 1
Author henderson14 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Did she respond? No. I didn't expect her to. I told her "on her next date with a guy" she should at least thank him for taking her out and paying. And that I was trying to give her advice on "her future dates." I also mentioned that not at least thanking a guy could cause guys who would normally ask her out on another date to not ask her out. Today I was asking myself, that if she won't thank me for taking her out twice and paying for her dates, would she thank my parents for cooking her dinner if I took her home, or would I have to tell her to? Does she thank people for giving her things??? A dates actually never made me this angry before. Amazing what one little word can do. Its so easy! I would probably have overlooked the not kissing me thing or offering to pay!
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