henderson14 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) I met up with a girl from a dating site, and then just went out on a full date with her. Both times she never even reached for her purse to offer to pay, and she never thanked me for paying or for the date. And to top it off, she turned away when I tried to kiss her. But the thing is, she seemed interested the whole time and extended the date and told me to have a good week. I'm starting to realize behavior patterns of girls who use these sites, and why they are probably on them. There was a little chemistry and attraction, but nothing to knock me off my feet or anything. Guys, you would even consider asking a girl like this out again? I've decided that I'm not going to unless I get some type of communication from her. Even then, I'm thinking of just ignoring her. I left almost feeling angry. Show some class and at least give out a thank you. I'm thinking no ones every been honest with people like this, and it would be beneficial to them for someone to do that. Edited October 7, 2013 by henderson14
Ok Good Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I met up with a girl from a dating site, and then just went out on a full date with her. Both times she never even reached for her purse to offer to pay, and she never thanked me for paying or for the date. And to top it off, she turned away when I tried to kiss her. But the thing is, she seemed interested the whole time and extended the date and told me to have a good week. I'm starting to realize behavior patterns of girls who use these sites, and why they are probably on them. There was a little chemistry and attraction, but nothing to knock me off my feet or anything. Guys, you would even consider asking a girl like this out again? I've decided that I'm not going to unless I get some type of communication from her. Even then, I'm thinking of just ignoring her. I expect a guy to pay initially but I'm sure to thank him I get that its effort on his part and should be appreciated. But, if I'm not feeling any physical attraction, even if he does pay I don't think he is then owed any physical affection from me. I suggest if you do like this girl, then just downgrade the next date (IF she contacts you) so you don't feel as if you doing more than what you think she's worth. Also try not to get bitter about girls (its showing through alittle in your attitude) just adjust your expectations so if you're not shown appreciation it won't be so frustrating 1
Author henderson14 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) Can I go on a date with you? I'm hungry. LOL. Well put. Your words say it all. Another thing that makes me angry is that before dinner was over, I was thinking to myself that this might actually go somewhere, and I think she is genuinely interested. I just feel so disrespected and let down from her that another date isn't going to happen, and she will never know why. Edited October 7, 2013 by henderson14 1
ConstantVoyager Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 LOL. Well put. Your words say it all. Another thing that makes me angry is that before dinner was over, I was thinking to myself that this might actually go somewhere, and I think she is genuinely interested. I just feel so disrespected and let down from her that another date isn't going to happen, and she will never know why. She knows why. If she were genuinely interested, she would have thanked you.
Ok Good Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 She knows why. If she were genuinely interested, she would have thanked you. that's no reason to be inconsiderate towards someone's generosity 2
ConstantVoyager Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 that's no reason to be inconsiderate towards someone's generosity I absolutely agree. I always offer to pay and thank guys, even when I'm not interested. But, she apparently doesn't.
Author henderson14 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 She knows why. If she were genuinely interested, she would have thanked you. So in your personal life, you only thank someone who pays for your dinner or gives you a gift who you are interested in???? She was interested enough to accept a second date and answer my call.
Author henderson14 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Is it worth sending her a friendly message to give her advice on future dates about at least thanking guys (AND PEOPLE) who pay for her dinner? She has a job where I'm sure people take her out to lunch. 1
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Can I go on a date with you? I'm hungry. +1 I've known plenty of females that proudly use men for free dinner. OP, this is most likely what happened in your situation. This isn't 1955. Stop paying for women on dates until they've already proven themselves to you. 2
Lansing Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 It could be a part of her personality and nothing to do with her interest level. As others said, don't do dinners on early dates. I dated this girl for 2 months and I ended up breaking things off because I felt she had expectations of me paying/planning things/etc BUT she very rarely said a thanks. I told her one time that it bugged me and she ended up brining me a gift the next time I saw her more as things continued it just felt like she felt entitled. My most reason ex didn't say thank you much either. I explain it to her things and she did start saying thank you but it was more a rundown at the end of the weekend sayin " thanks for this, that,etc". Now having said all of that occasionally I will just get in the moment and forget to thank someone for something but I will usually follow up with a text or email
cif Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Coffee or drinks first meet up. No reason for an extravagant dinner. 2
Groundzeroharvester Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I tried dating sites once and I gave them up. What happens is you end up choosing someone based on looks plus some key combination of attributes. Whenever you actually meet there is little to actually go along with unless you get a good match with personality. I much prefer, to see and then go up and talk with a random stranger, that way I can at least get a glimpse into their personality. With that being said my last date, didn't end well but that was my own doing more than anything.
Ok Good Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Is it worth sending her a friendly message to give her advice on future dates about at least thanking guys (AND PEOPLE) who pay for her dinner? She has a job where I'm sure people take her out to lunch. no, don't send a text saying essentially she's rude, in the social manners world, pointing out someone else's rudeness is rude behavior...
crederer Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I dunno man, this sounds like a pretty typical date....don't hate the player hate the game. 1
candie13 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I only kiss a man at a first date if the chemistry was sky high, he made me laugh and I got reasonably tipsy . I stop after the second glass of wine, nowadays. Anyway, yeah, maybe she acted spoiled not to reach out for the wallet, but if you really insisted in taking her out for dinner... I dunno. One thing's for sure, no girl owes you a kiss only because you paid dinner. Drinks or coffee next time.
Author henderson14 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 I only kiss a man at a first date if the chemistry was sky high, he made me laugh and I got reasonably tipsy . I stop after the second glass of wine, nowadays. Anyway, yeah, maybe she acted spoiled not to reach out for the wallet, but if you really insisted in taking her out for dinner... I dunno. One thing's for sure, no girl owes you a kiss only because you paid dinner. Drinks or coffee next time. As I already stated, we already met before and it was for drinks. This was a second dinner and activity date.
mammasita Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Never a fan of dinner on a first date. Always just a drink to see if a second date is worth it....... THEN....play on playa'
candie13 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Some women like to take it slow, like to know a guy better before getting physical, like to build the "moment". What does your instinct tell you, could she be a free-meal dater? If that's the case, stop seeing her. But, if you like her and she's fun and you'd like to know her better, respect her pace and just go with the flow, while focusing on less money-intensive activities - walks in parks, movies, exhibits, whatever. If, on the other hand, you're expecting sex after the third date, no, it doesn't look like it's gonna happen . Also, with women, one never knows. It all depends on what you want and how much you like her.
LuvsTrucks2 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I'm just getting out of a LTR and may not be the one to offer dating advice, but I always thanked my husband whenever he picked up the tab for anything and we were together for 10 years.
Woop1337 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I'm more concerned about the fact that she gave you the ear, when you tried to kiss her. She's not into you, delete that number ASAP. Women that really like you will let you kiss them. Everything else are secondary issues. Your the man, so you pay. Personally if they insist on paying their share, most of the time, they are not that interested.
candie13 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 hum... he said there was chemistry. If a girl feels no chemistry or is repulsed by a guy, trust me, her date would sense it, when she is turning him down. Unless a girl specifically tells you "you're a nice guy, but it's not working out for me", you're still in. I believe the OP's ego is a bit sore, because he paid for dinner and got turned down. It happens, take it like a man. If you like her, you pursue some more. If you don't, you stop seeing her.
veggirl Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Tons of girls will next a guy who doesn't pay, nothing wrong with a guy nexting a girl who is too rude to say thank you. Plus an ear given when you went for the kiss on a 2nd date? Shes either not into you or way prude.
WhiteButton Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 From guys perspective, i would lower your expectations on two out of three points you talked about. 1. She did not offer to pay. - This is normal on first/second/third dates and i don't expect for girl to pay. 2. She did not kiss you at the end. - This is something you cant expect ether just because you buy her a meal dont mean she is obligaeted to kiss you. 3. She did not say thank you. - I say this is something she could have done and would show a little bit more class. I agree with you on this. I will also say that while a lot of girls do not pay in the beginning you cant generalize. I went out with a girl last week on our 2nd date and she would not let me pay. I did not expect her to pay for me but i was surprised in a positive way!
Author henderson14 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 I sent her a message last night about the whole not thanking me thing. Now today I feel like kind of an ass. I think she needed to hear it though.
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