bbcaptcha Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Hi, So I'm a young lady in my mid-twenties, I only dated twice : the first one I ended it because me and the guy weren't really a match and it seemed that I was just trying dating for the first time. And in the second one, I reached the bottom of misery, the guy was a cheater, I loved him though, I accepted his misbehavior for a while and then I felt like I worth way more than that, so I dumped him but I felt really hurt. After that I spent about 5 years avoiding going out with guys in order to concentrate on my studies and to fulfill my dream of being a successful woman. Now, I feel like I'm going out of the cave where I spent all these years by myself. I look at my friends' lives and I see boyfriends even husbands and kids in them. I started to have the feeling of wanting that as well. In the last few months, I saw some guys approaching me, but I don't seem to like most of them, I don't know why I keep seeing their drawbacks highlighted. As for the ones I think I liked, they go away when I simply try to show them that I'm into them (and believe me I'm way far from being clingy). For instance, at the moment, there is this guy who started talking to me almost everyday, I feel like he is trying to please me until the point I feel he lacks of self esteem and that turns me off. And there is another one that we obviously don't match but because he is showing a high level of confidence I liked talking to him, although I feel somehow stressed during these conversations and maybe because he felt that, he stopped talking to me for a while now. I feel like I'm in front of a huge problem, I like guys who are confident but once they start showing their real personalities I feel like I can't go any further with them. I badly want to be in a healthy relationship, my problem can be caused by the fact that when I compare my potential boyfriends to the ones with my friends I see a remarkable difference ! I seem to put some high standards that no one ever can have !! Help me I'm confused
Author bbcaptcha Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 oh waw more than 200 views and yet no answer seems like this matter is way complicated than what I thought
deathandtaxes Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Are guys asking you out? Are you going on dates?
Samantha89 Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 Hey, by reading your post I feel like I have been where you are now. I can not tell if you are going through the same that I was, but in my case I was too afraid to be in a relationship, so I made up excuses for every single guy that approached me. What you say about the confidence, I felt the same, but maybe you are trying to compensate your low self esteem with his? I believe that in order to be in a healthy relationship you have to work hard on being in peace with yourself first. I am still working hard on it, it's a tough one! Hope this help a bit!
Author bbcaptcha Posted October 9, 2013 Author Posted October 9, 2013 @deathandtaxes yes I'm getting asked out, but I refuse them since I don't seem to see them as potential boyfriends. @Samantha89 apparently I'm afraid of being in a relationship, I don't know maybe the miserable one I had once made me think like this. But I don't feel that I lack of self esteem I technically fulfilled several dreams, well except for finding the right man :/
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