Feeling discontent and regretful, suggestions on how to feel happier again?

[Summer Lovin]

These days I've just been feeling so unhappy and discontent. I guess I've felt this way for a long time and so was always searching for something more. My friends always called me a soul searcher. I'm in my mid-20s, I had a good childhood and a supportive family. My parents always said I never realized how good I had it, and boyfriends told me that too. I moved about 3 hours away for college and got a bachelor's degree, my parents encouraged me to do so. It wasn't a very specialized degree, I think because I was trying to sort out what I wanted to study and never really did. Even though I went to a good school and was very involved in activities, had a good set of friends, I still never felt content, and I was always searching for something more. I never intended on staying there. The grass always seemed greener elsewhere, and even though I had some great opportunities in that city, I couldn't recognize nor appreciate them because I wanted something bigger/better. I thought spreading my wings is what I wanted. I had a boyfriend at the time but he wanted to stay in that city, close to family, and I felt it dragged me down. I think instead of being truly in love with him, I thought if I had a boyfriend, it would make me happy. I also thought if only I could get a great job in a big city I'd be happy.

 

I ended up getting a job in a big city like I had hoped and met someone else there and got into a new relationship, and I ended up pursuing an MBA, even though my boyfriend wanted me to move with him for a new job of his. During graduate school I gained some solid work experience, and upon graduating, I ended up moving for the boyfriend that I had met in the new city, and it took me across the country from my family. However, that relationship just ended. I think I wanted more than he ever did in our relationship. I'm still heartbroken that the relationship didn't work out the way either one of us had hoped. I now took a new job in my favorite city to start over, which I'm happy to feel employed, but I just feel like something is missing still. I have a lot of regret and sort of wish I wouldn't have been trying so hard to leave my home as I had plenty of love and support there. I'm not exactly sure what I've been searching for all of this time?

 

I've watched many of my friends get married off and settle all the while I've been trying to get my life figured out. I know part of the reason why I haven't gotten married is because I've been living my life very selfishly, thinking solely what I want out of it. I feel like I was quite ungrateful and not so sure why I was seeking more. I enjoyed learning, but I think part of why I went on for graduate study was because I was seeking something more. I'm now completely alone where I'm at, no family, close friends or boyfriend, but I already signed an agreement to stay with an employer for a minimum of two years. It is in a big city with a lot of young professionals, but I can't help but feel like something is missing. I have time off to visit family, but I still feel lonely. I'm too old to solely rely on Mom and Dad, and many of my friends that moved away did so with a significant other, not alone. I have some regrets, I think mostly for being so confused and unsure when younger. If I could go back in time I know exactly what I would've studied, and I wouldn't have been trying so hard to leave loved ones. My parents always encouraged me to spread my wings, but I still feel a bit down lately. I know happiness comes from relationships and love, not necessarily a job. I just haven't met the right person to move forward with, and I'm worried I never will. I left the nest young, and sometimes I wish I could go back a little closer. Advice on how to feel happier and more content where I'm at??

Edited October 6, 2013 by sassiechik21

[Mr.Mango]

You're honestly just experiencing life. Nothing to be worried about. I think everyone feels the way you do now, once in their life.

 

The only advice I can give might not sound appealing, but it's pretty much all you can do. You need to exert yourself. The most self-satisfied people tend to be the ones who pull everything out of themselves, constantly.

 

Obviously everyone wishes that life would be more pleasant and easier, but that doesn't necessarily satisfy us. Winning the lottery, for instance, would be great, but it's likely you'll get bored before long. Working your butt off to improve your life might not be as easy as getting free money, but it makes you feel a lot better.

 

Having read your post, I would suggest you nail down the things you feel you're missing. From there's it's simple, push yourself to get those things. It's unlikely you get exactly what you wanted, but the effort you do will progressively make you feel better and more content with yourself. Just don't get discouraged, it's ALWAYS better to try for yourself than to give up completely.