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Playing hard to get...sign of low interest, or attempt to make the guy want 'em more?

kwistof

By kwistof
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kwistof New Member

kwistof

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A girl is playing hard to get. I just can't tell if it's low interest, maybe she's attracted some but it's just a game to manipulate me and make a guy go crazy over her, just for a thrill of having power. Or maybe it's high interest, and she'll do everything in her power to make me want her more.

 

I go to university with her, and honestly, the reason I have not asked her out is 'cause of these signals. And I already liked her before she started the hard to get game, and if she was more consistent, I'd talk to her more and would've asked her out already.

 

So she'll flirt, give me long looks, giggle when our eyes meet, do subtle things that seem like it's to get attention, and sometimes avoid eye contact though I'll notice she's stealing glances. But then she goes cold, doesn't smile, obviously avoids eye contact, and acts very unresponsive. That could be either nervousness and high interest, she's manipulative and it's just a game, or both. But it seems if she had much interest, she wouldn't go that cold, and would eat it up any time she got attention from me.

 

Though we were walking and went through the same door and she didn't have the same composure: she immediately had an ear to ear smile, and it was obviously a genuine smile (maybe she wasn't telling herself "shoot, there he is, I better play it cool" and she was surprised). So should that beaming smile indicate how she really feels? Given what I said, does it sound like she has no real interest beyond using me to validate her and give her an ego boost and is just full of herself? Or fairly high interest but she's shy, and backs off 'cause she's kind of nervous? But honestly, I'm getting pretty tired of it, and that behavior is why I haven't went for her.

 

So next time she flirts, should I just ignore her, or what?

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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This problem can be resolved by ASKING HER OUT. The answer you get will be the answer to whether she's interested.

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truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

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I think hard to get is all about insecurities. If you truly like a person, there is no reason to play games. You're direct and go from there.

 

This girl is young and immature. If you ignore her it will probably increase her interest in you but at what cost? So she can make you feel she likes you only for her to reject you if or when you ask her out?

 

If you really like her, ask her out. You will get your answer.

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kwistof New Member

kwistof

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If you truly like a person, there is no reason to play games.

 

Why should bother asking a girl out who's playing games anyway, especially when I see those red flags? It's not like she's earned getting asked out.

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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Why should bother asking a girl out who's playing games anyway, especially when I see those red flags? It's not like she's earned getting asked out.

 

Well then you've resolved this issue. End of thread....

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truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

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Why should bother asking a girl out who's playing games anyway, especially when I see those red flags? It's not like she's earned getting asked out.

 

You have two choices:

 

1) Be mature and walk away from her - do not speak to her anymore.

 

2) Turn the game on her. Ignore her. When she comes to you, you tell her how you're seeing another girl.

ConstantVoyager Established Member

ConstantVoyager

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I'd argue that flirting with her for this long without asking her out is also a form of game playing.

 

If you like her, ask her out. If you don't, don't. But, if you don't like her, don't continue to lead her on by flirting with her.

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truth_seeker Established Member

truth_seeker

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I'd argue that flirting with her for this long without asking her out is also a form of game playing.

 

If you like her, ask her out. If you don't, don't. But, if you don't like her, don't continue to lead her on by flirting with her.

 

You make a great point. I'm guilty of doing this and didn't realize I was game playing.

Lansing Established Member

Lansing

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I would ask her out once and see how it goes..

 

I find that sometimes girls don't want to "reveal" their hand so to speak...

 

If she doesn't accept your offer or offer alternative plans then you at least made an effort and won't think "what if".

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