Kelly M Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 This guy I have known for awhile we became very close and he would tell me his problems, and he would talk to me. He checks up on me to see how I am doing cause this has been a very rough year for me. I lost my friend a month ago, I lost my grandfather 3 weeks ago, and I have to get my GED, and I am getting mouth surgery, so there is alot of Anxiety and stuff going on. I am in a depression as well, and well it was my birthday yesterday, and that is another depression, but Jim texts me "Happy Birthday" and I never got back to him so he calls me later in the day, then I call him back 2 hours later. I posted about Jim, and my suspicion that he is having sex with my dead friend's girlfriend on this site. Well he was talking about her, that's Jessica. He was saying that they didn't have sex but he knows it's gonna lead to dating and such and he seemed to get defensive when I said "It seems a little too soon, I mean Mikey died a month ago" I could tell he got all defensive, but then he seemed ok. He is after Jessica, and it sickens me cause that was my best friend's girlfriend,and he was best friend's with Mikey as well. It's only been a month, but anyways. When I first knew Jim he would ask me out alot and I rejected cause I didn't know him that well. Well, he asked me out a couple of more times recently and when I would agree to go out with him he would back out and make up a excuse. So we are talking and he kept on asking me what I was doing for my birthday, I said I am in a depression, but I will just probably hang with friends. He said "Text me later, let's do something" he kept on repeating himself and kept telling me to text him later, and I agreed. Here was the convo when I texted him and it was 2 hours later. Me: So...what's going on? lol Jim: Eating at Applebees Me: If you ave plans then that's cool, I'm gonna go to my friends house, but let me know if you still want to do something Jim: I'll let you know when I am out of here He then posted on Facebook 2 hours later "ANother perfect night" And he posted pics of our friend, Lisa, with Jessica's Baby, and it even said "With Jessica SMith" So he was with her and Lisa, and Lisa's husband at Applebees. He never texts me back, and he honestly should've just said "I have other plans, I'll catch you later" or something. Also why is he trying to go out with me, but yet he has a thing for Jessica? Why is he doing this to me? I am not in the mood to be messed with right now, for what is going on I just don't understand any of this, he backs away when I agree to go out with him, and even though I think him and Jessica are grimey, I was still willing to go out with him, just to figure out the situation. Is he trying to make me jealous? I just don't understand any of this, and I am very hurt by all of this. I just feel like I put everyone as my top priority, I never put anyone on the back burner, and I feel like that is what he is doing to me, like I am not important enough to text back or to hang with, only Jessica in his eyes now is important, but it's funny cause he is the one that texts me and calls me, I never initiate conversation. I helped him through alot of problems, I was there for him 100% and I just feel like I am on the back burner like I am not at all important to him. Jessica certainly did not help him the way I did. I am extremely hurt, and honestly I am sick of all of this. Any thoughts as to why he is doing this to me? Thank you!
Eivuwan Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 It doesn't matter why he is doing it. Just know that he is not bf material. 2
kassy Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 I think right now you sound like you have a lot going on in your own life without this guy. Whatever happens with him and Jessica or not I don't think is any of your business and just adding stress that you don't need. So just let them be. As for you and him, well forget it too. He isn't giving you what you need now and you have bigger things to worry about than a guy who is just causing you more stress. Try putting yourself first for a while. Grieve for your grandfather and best friend. However you want to. Try and work out how to get the depression under control. Through exercise, healthy eating, sleeping and socializing with or without the help of medication as appropriate. Good luck with the surgery. I know first hand how stressful that can be. Just sort yourself out and remove all the added stresses that you just don't need. When you are in a better space you are likely to meet a better guy is my experience. Don't waste any more time on him. 1
soccerrprp Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Eivuwan is right. Kelly, this guy is not the knight in shining armour you may think he is. He's not that interested in you. 1
Kizza Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Doesn't seem you are this guys first choice. Sorry Did I read right? Is he trying to get in with this girl Jessica a month after her partner died? 1
Author Kelly M Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 I think right now you sound like you have a lot going on in your own life without this guy. Whatever happens with him and Jessica or not I don't think is any of your business and just adding stress that you don't need. So just let them be. As for you and him, well forget it too. He isn't giving you what you need now and you have bigger things to worry about than a guy who is just causing you more stress. Try putting yourself first for a while. Grieve for your grandfather and best friend. However you want to. Try and work out how to get the depression under control. Through exercise, healthy eating, sleeping and socializing with or without the help of medication as appropriate. Good luck with the surgery. I know first hand how stressful that can be. Just sort yourself out and remove all the added stresses that you just don't need. When you are in a better space you are likely to meet a better guy is my experience. Don't waste any more time on him. Hi! Thanks for answering! I appreciate it! and yeah he is causing more stress with me. I know it's not my business what happens with him and Jessica, but he calls me and tells me about Jessica and he texts me. Also I think about the "character" aspect of it. My friend mikey died a month ago and his girlfriend Jessica and his best friend Jim are going out. I know people grieve differently, but how the way Jessica and Jim are going about it is very cold. They are basing Mikey, and saying what a piece of **** he was and such, when Mikey was the sweetest person, and a very good person, and they are saying it's his fault why he died, they are just acting very cold about Mikey, and it's just grimey to me that Mikey's best friend and girlfriend are heading in that direction of dating each other, or who knows maybe they are already screwing each other, but they are just keeping that hidden. I am assuming, but it's more of a character thing with me. Also it makes me angry, cause like I said Jim will express a liking towards me and he has everytime we see each other, and HE will call me and HE will text me and I just respond. That is why I am confused as to what he wants out of me, like if Jessica is your interest now, why were you trying to go out with me? It's confusing and I just don't get it, but you are right, I can't deal with the added stress of him and I do need to get better friends. Thank you!
Author Kelly M Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 Eivuwan is right. Kelly, this guy is not the knight in shining armour you may think he is. He's not that interested in you. Yeah, I know he is not, but I am confused as to what he wants out of me? Like I said if Jessica is his interest now, then why is he trying to go out with me? Like he calls me and texts me, he checks up on me, and when my grandfather died he was checking up on me, and it's just weird, cause if he is not interested in me, then why is HE the one asking me out? Why is HE the one calling me? That is why I am so confused, but thanks for answering! I appreciate it!
Author Kelly M Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 Doesn't seem you are this guys first choice. Sorry Did I read right? Is he trying to get in with this girl Jessica a month after her partner died? Yes, you read right. Me and Jim were both best friends with Mikey. I actually liked Mikey cause Mikey was such a sweet person, but Jim knew him for a year, I knew Mikey for 3 years, but I was very clsoe with mikey and Jim was too. Jim and Mikey hung out on a regular basis, and so did I. I wanted to tell Mikey how I felt, but e got a girlfriend, whom is Jessica. It's grimey to me that Jessica and Jim want to hookup or do whatever cause Jim was best friends with Mikey. I am not trying to judge the situation, so I was willing to give Jim a chance, and it's just disturbing to me. And they both are bashing Mikey now. They are saying it's his fault and he was a *******, when he clearly was not, and I am a fair person, I would say if he was, but honestly he is a good person, and treated her like a queen. They are just going about this in a very cold way. It sickens me. Thanks for answering! I appreciate it!
Author Kelly M Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 doesn't matter what he wants. too much drama. get new friends. Yeah, you're right, I do need new friends. I am not that kind of a person, I have loyalty towards my friend. Jim and Jessica are disgusting pigs in my opinion if they are screwing each other after Mikey only being dead for a month, it's just weird and disturbing to me, and quite honestly I hate them both, and I can't understand what he wants out of me, cause like I said if HE calls me and HE texts me, and HE tells me everything, then it's weird to me. But thanks for answering! I appreciate it!
Author Kelly M Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 loyalty isn't that great with the person you are loyal to isn't loyal back. I'm sorry I must have been confusing! I meant that I am loyal to Mikey (my dead friend) and that I will cut Jim and Jessica out if they are with each other cause I care more about Mikey, and Jim and Jess are grimey pigs to me. I had loyalty towards Jim, but now that is completely severed. I will stick up and have more loyalty towards my dead friend though. But thanks!
Kizza Posted October 9, 2013 Posted October 9, 2013 I want to say condolences to you for losing your friend Mikey. I think Jim and Jessica are doing the wrong thing at this point in time. You are right, It is in bad taste. You are a good friend to Mikey and deserve better quality people in your life. Take care of yourself...
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