RC77 Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Well once again I need help. Well like I have said in other topics I have been dating this girl for about 2 months. I really do like her, love her even. She also loves me, or says she does. Anyways, about 2 weeks ago we went on a rock climbing lock in. She had been to the place before so right when we got there she started climbing. I however had to take a belaying test before I could start up. So my test partner was her friend (female) who drove with us to the place. So anyways I took the belaying test with this girl and we both passed and then more of our friends started showing up and climbing. So anyways after the test my girlfriend was climbing so I decided I would climb with her friend. We climbed about two times and then I decided to go see if my girlfriend wanted me to belay her. When I came over she was acting alot differently and wouldn't talk much. I belayed her anyways, but at the end she just kind of walked off and started climbing on her own again. Anyways to get to the point finally after a few hours of climbing she came and talked to me (I had been staying out of her way because she was obviously pissed about something) she said she was basically jealous because I had been having such a good time with her friend and stuff. She said she saw me laughing and having a good time with her and she felt like I was never really able to laugh so easily with her. Well we made up and everything was fine. Anyways I was driving home and I really started to think about what she had said and I really realized it was true. I never really was able to make jokes around my girlfriend and just be who I am. This really worried me but I ignored it. Well today I went out to lunch with my friend who also happens to be really good friends with my girlfriend and we started talking about her. I asked him if they ever talked about me during the class they share. He said yea, in fact very recently (yesterday). He said they were talking and somehow a joke I had my around him came up and he repeated it. He said she though it was hilarious, like she couldn't breathe. Then she asked him if I was always like that around him and my other friends. He said yea Ryan is a funny guy. She then told him I wasn't usually like that around her, like I was more quiet or something. So then my friend was just like just be yourself around her and everything will be ok. Well I thought about that and I try to be myself, I really do, but for some reason I just can't. Maybe its because usually my humor is pretty vulgar and I wouldn't want my girlfriend to hear that (which really isn't a problem she loves that kind of stuff). Or maybe its usually because when I am hanging out with my girlfriend and other people, its usually her and her friends. People who I sort of know but am not totally comfortable with. But, also when we are alone I have noticed... I'm just not funny, or really active. Usually I am funny, hyper, and crazy for the most part. But with her I am calm and quiet. Maybe it is just that I don't want her to see my real side because I am frightened of what she might think of it. Whatever the case this is the only real pitfall in our relationship, and in my opinion quite a big one. I really want to stay with her and I want to try everything possible to help this before giving up... or having her give up on me . (sorry if some of this doesn't make sense.. I sort of typed it in a hurry :/)
suspicious2 Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 man that's a tough one. It's hard to be with Dr. Jekyl if you thought you were dating Mr. Hyde or vice versa. Lemme ask you this. Which IS the real you? Perhaps the life-of-the-party version is a facade just so people will like you. Like you automatically go into that role around others bc you feel you have too. And when you're with her you don't feel the need to put on the show? It's something to think about-perhaps she doesn't realize that's she's lucky to get the serious guy. A guy that is constantly making jokes is fun for awhile-but it tends to get old quickly-unless of course she's looking for a comedian instead of a boyfriend. Perhaps you both just need a different perspective-or perhaps ya'll aren't quite what the other person needs in a relationship. You sound young-so chances are this is not "the one" and you'll have to go through many relationships learning a little more about yourself and what you want each time before you can finally find what you need. Each broken heart is a stepping stone to maturity. all things happen for a reason. Feel free to make mistakes-but don't forget to learn from them.
Author RC77 Posted December 2, 2004 Author Posted December 2, 2004 wow suspicious thanks a lot, I had never really thought about it that way. I never really had a problem with the way I was around her until I heard she had brought it up. Thanks.
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