broke-up after 11 years

[Pain_and_gain]

It happened a month and few days ago, she said i wasn't support her in her hard days and it was hard to communicate with me (yeah, i'm a bit introvertive person), she felt unloved and unwanted, but everything went down about a year ago when she said it's time for baby, i want it too, we talked about that before, but i just froze!! We were first real love to each other, back from highschool days, together we went to university, find a jobs and find an apartment 2 years ago.... basically, we grown together, but i guess she's been growing faster than i did. She went back to her parents house.

 

At first, i beg, plead, stalk and all this stuff, to take me back, of course she didn't, she was broken and angry, she said i broke her heart and destroy her dreams, but also she told me that she still loves me and misses me. At that point i find this forum and NC policy and i went NC.... it lasted about a week, she broke NC, i responded and there was argument again, about crushing her dreams... then we went NC again, she broke it again and i responded, but this time there was no anger, just regretting on how we messed up and that we don't know what future have for us, 10 days ago she came to apartment to take her stuff. It was strange, hard.... i guess not just for me, but for her too. I helped her take her stuff to her car, than i shake her hand and wished to her and her family all the best, then we both started to cry and she said why i was such a jerk, that we had everything, we could have babies and all that.... that was 10 day ago, i didn't hear or see her, back on NC.

 

First 2 weeks were really hard, hell on earth, literally..... now i feel much better, i walk a lot, lost 10 kgs in one month, i started to went out again with friends and female work colleagues, went to 2 days trip, i'm just moving to a new apartment, started to read boks again (which i quit in highschool) and books were about growing as a person..... I still love her and miss her badly. We had the same goals for our lives. But i guess i was a bit scared for taking big responsibilities in life. We are both in late 20s, and yes i know, after so many years together, with safe and good jobs and our apartment, this was supposed to be a logical move. There was never a 3rd person beetween us, i know for me and she also said that she was always faithful for me, we were to each other the only one we slept with.

 

Damn, it's so hard, i would climb Mt Everest for her

[Pain_and_gain]

Father just told me that she texted him, wishing him happy birthday....I know that he liked her very much, my mother adored her, she also liked my parents very much. But still, I'm surprised....