mavmtn Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Hi guys, I want to lay the following problem at your feet with which I hope you guys could help me. The situation is as follows: I'm a 23 year old male from western Europe (currently residing in, although not citizen of, the UK) and I am having trouble connecting to the opposite sex in a romantic sense. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly capable of talking with girls (in fact, I often communicate better with girls than guys) and I am definitely not a shy person. Also, while I do not consider myself a Georgy Clooney, I dare to say that I am quite attractive, both physically (six two, broad shoulders) and emotionally (caring personality, highly educated and emotionally mature). However, when it comes to attraction to the opposite sex I am a bit confused. For one, I seem to attracted much more to girls who are a bit older than me (not women in their 40s, but more like mid- to late 20s), but it does not seems reciprocal, at least not that I know of. I have felt like this, basically, since my puberty, always leaning towards older girls, whereas most other guys tend to like younger girls. This, I think, has partially something to do with the fact that I was emotionally abused by my father when I was a child. Even though I processed that difficult part of my life, it made me much more emotionally mature and also more sensitive than the guys around me, but even than most girls my own age. I recently moved to the UK from the continent and I am meeting all these (really nice) new people, including, of course, new women. What partially fascinates and confuses me is that, even though I want to be attracted to girls my age, I feel sort of blocked by my own attraction and sometimes this feeling is mutual (on some level, I think some girls find me intimidating or something like that...). Some girls I find physically attractive (naturally), but that is basically where the train ends for me. I like them as friends, because we have some similar interests (at the university) and just get along, but there seems to be an emotional disconnect for me to go further in the relationship. Conversely, the women I am attracted to I don't meet that often, because we are just in different periods of our lives, where single women in their mid- to late 20s work and, perhaps naturally, they don't seem to be interested in me as much. While I do yearn for a relationship (much as most other people do), I feel like I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Am I totally crazy for thinking like this and should I start dating girls 'my own age' or would you guys think this ordeal will improve as I get older? I would be very grateful for any advice:)! Thanks!!
Mascara Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Sorry about that, didn't read that you were 23. You're not that much younger than the women you're attracted to, so there shouldn't be that much of a disconnect. And you do come across as more mature than your years. You ARE going to have a bit of an issue though, I'd say that between the ages of 18 to 30, women generally like someone at least a bit older. I know it's not much consolation, but after 30 you should have no problem attracting a 35 year old for example. What are you doing to meet people?
Author mavmtn Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 Thanks for the reply, Mascara! No, I am not that much younger, but it seems a pretty big gap to me. As I said, women tend to look to older guys in the 30-something range who is established, has had a career for a few years and is grown up. While I might be able to convince a girl of the last bit, I am not too sure whether they are interested in a student like me. At least that is how I experience it... After 30 seems pretty far away and it would be kind of silly to be without any relationship experience by then. I meet people anywhere, really, but particularly at the university. Go to seminars, hang out with groups in my classes, taking a language course, stuff like that or when I travel (which I do a lot). Or did you mean something else?
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