samm235 Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Hi everyone. I am looking for some advice/support. My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me about 2 weeks ago. Thing is, he has done this before, because he is confused, but this time is real. I know because I went to his house and he was sleeping in his bed with another girl. He did not have sex with her, and I am actually not mad at him, only because I see his complete confusion, and feel bad he is struggling so much with this descion. (but I was obviously so mad at first.) So the story goes, I saw that, freaked out and realized he was serious this time. I went to my parents house, so upset. He called to see how I was. The next night he came over to see me and talk and talk about things. This is what he wants right now. But I also see how confused he is. I know I cannot attempt to understand him, but it confuses me more. A mutual friend told me he thinks that he feels like he should hook up with other people, before he can see if we are right or wrong. He called again last night at 9. He obviously wanted to talk. He ended up coming over, and I could see the mental battle he was having in his head. I feel almost sympathetic now. The question is either how do I get over him when I love him so much? or, how do I go about being friends with him? And what are your opinions? He doesn't seem/sound happy.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 1, 2004 Posted December 1, 2004 Trust me. If he wasn't happy with this girl and wanted you, he'd dump her and be begging for forgiveness and asking you to come back. It sounds like he does care for you, and he misses you - but if he had any romantic feelings for you, they are being currently directed toward another woman. It is possible to miss a person, but not miss the relationship. It sounds like he is trying to spare your feelings by being kind, but that type of kindness is the very cruelest there is. Its hard, but the very best thing to do is leave him to his relationship. Tell him that you can't deal with being around him under these circumstances and ask him to leave you alone. Don't call, don't write, and don't contact you. Don't tell him you want to be friends, if what you really want is any excuse to be with him because you still love him. He told you that right now this was what he wanted. So, leave him with what he wants. What you don't want to do is let yourself be set up on the backburner as the 'backup plan' in case he gets bored with this girl or decides that he doesn't want to be with her.
Author samm235 Posted December 1, 2004 Author Posted December 1, 2004 Thank you for the advice. I may have made it seem as though he is with this girl, but he isn't. Same advice?
Isabella82 Posted December 2, 2004 Posted December 2, 2004 It doesn't matter if he is with this girl or just messing around with her, its still not right and its not fair to you. Move on and find something better. I second the above post.
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