So depressed. I kissed another guy and he wants nothing to do with me

[Nygirl22]

i have been w/ my bf on and off for 4 years we recently got back together after a year of breaking up about 2 months now. Well we had a little argument and he went out and never called me so i went out with my friends got realllly drunk and kissed a guy...came home called him and told him and he wants nothing to do with me. I regret it and really do not remember much about the night . I have been crying and calling him endlessly. I messed up i realize that, But i love him and want to at least talk about it. I know how he thinks and i know he probably thinks it was more than a kiss. He will not answer his phone or return my calls. I left him a message i was coming over but the truth is i am too scared to face him...i love him and i want us to work, but i screwed up and i do not know what to do.

[bluechocolate]

we had a little argument and he went out and never called me...

 

Never called you? What does that mean? In an hour? Two hours? Overnight?

 

Sorry, but I don't get it. He never called you so you went out, got drunk & kissed another guy?

 

but i screwed up and i do not know what to do

 

Apologise & wait for him to approach you. There really isn't much more you can do right now.

 

we recently got back together after a year of breaking up .....

 

Have you both fully dealt with why that was happening?

[Nygirl22]

Ok Sorry It was confusing. We had plans to hangout, He called me to tell me at 7pm he was going to AC with his friend he left a message on my machine, I was angry he totally disregarded our plans. So i called him 2 x left a message telling him i was upset how could he do that, he never called back so i went out with the girls , i checked my machine all nite to see if he called nothing. I do not remeber how i kissed another guy or why it happened i was so drunk and I am not using that as an excuse. I called him when i got home and told him, he went off on me and hung up. He said you think you are this great person for telling me, he said it is not that you are telling me, it is what you did, you should have never done that. now i left him about 4 messages and a few text messgaes and nothing. I just want him to know it was a mistake I love hima nd i want it to work with us..if it took this to realize how much i do love him so be it, I just know i hurt him bad,I just wish he would call me back and talk to me insted of saying it's over.

[gwennebe]

He sounds immature. It was wrong to break plans with you that he already made on an answering maching no less. I don't think you should be beating yourself up over this. It sounds to me like he is looking for an easy way out of the relaitonship again and this is perfect for him because no he can blame it on you. It's the perfect excuse.

 

give him some space and time to reflect. You can't force him to talk to you. I know it's hard but try to keep yourself occupied for the time being.

[GirlDown]

so maybe he shouldn't have broken your plans, but still...how can you expect him to call you back when you knew he was in AC? he had an opportunity to go somewhere and took it...it doesn't sound like he does this all the time. what were your plans? was he taking you somewhere important, was it something you had planned for a long time? or was it sitting around looking at each other while trying to think of something to do?

 

i could understand being this angry if he just left and never called, but that's not how it was. i think you used his actions to justify your indiscretion, which is far worse than what he did.

 

how old are both of you exactly? and what if you were in his shoes? wouldn't you be thinking "oh, so you're mad at me cause i didn't call, so you go out and cheat on me?" actually, i doubt you would be thinking it, i would think you would be screaming it.

 

keep in mind this kind of thing happens all the time, no one is perfect. but maybe you shouldn't get so drunk. if this happens when you drink, it would have happened regardless of whether you were angry or not...although it kind of seems like you were trying to get back at him. the fact that your boyfriend didn't call back when he was indisposed should have nothing to do with your behaviour.

 

you both need some time to think. maybe you don't want what you think is an inconsiderate boyfriend; he definitely doesn't want a girlfriend who cheats on him just because he didn't call.

 

good luck with this one.

[bluechocolate]

Sorry to say this to you but if I was getting back together with an ex & they did something like this to me in the first 2 months I doubt very much that I could see us working. Yes, him breaking plans was a crappy thing to do, but you should have waited & talked to him about it.

 

As another poster mentioned, I too don't know what these plans were, perhaps he didn't think they were that important & now he's thinking you've taken what should have been a slight misunderstanding & turned it into drunken infidelity. Does he have a history of breaking plans like this with you? Was this an issue in your break up? And do you always over-react like this when he does something that pisses you off?

 

I think a lot depends on your history with this guy as to whether he's going to call you back or not. All you can do now is wait.

[Charlane]

Just chalk this up to a spat and try not to classify it any greater than that. Rational thinking rules here. You already apologized. Do not EVER call him again now. If you talk again in the future it will be because he called you. He should realize that he is being a bit of an ass too and really what you did was not that big of a deal in my book.

 

If you do call him, then you will lose your self respect and his respect for you at the same time. Stand firm and let him make a move now.