Beachlife88 Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 I was in a relationship for 3.5 years. In the first 6 months he slept with his ex gf which i found out about. We decided to work on things. Things were relatively great for the next 2 years. The last year he became very emotionally abusive, always made me feel like i was wrong and occasionally would shove me. Some nights I would leave hysterically crying from how I felt. 7 months ago I made a mistake. I hung out with a co-worker had way too much to drink and my coworker kissed me. I kissed him back. I woke up the next day sick to my stomach about what I had done. I have never cheated in my life. What had I done? 2 days later the depression I was in about the relationship before the cheating, was worse. I decided to break things off with my boyfriend. Despite the guy that kissed me trying to justify what I did. (drunk, he was a bad bf) theres no excuse. I should have been strong enough to leave my boyfriend and not cheat. I'm now labeled as a cheater. Since than I dont think I deserve anyone. Ugh am I an awful person? Whats worse is I have feelings for the guy that I kissed but I dont see how he could ever trust or respect me after what I did. Idk what to do. we still talk a lot (old coworker) so confused. Feel like i deserve no one
Ronni_W Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Beachlife, You can use that experience to feel guilty, self-pitying and undeserving for the rest of your life...or you can turn it into a valuable life-lesson opportunity, see what there is to learn about what you truly value in life, want for yourself, how you want to be seen, what you need to do and be careful about not doing to ensure that you are being and seen as the person you want, etc., etc. Guilt and self-pity and self-denigration won't help you be the kind of person you want to be. Just commit to in the future being truer to who you are and want to be. Best of luck.
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