OliverF Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Hey people, so this is my first post. I'm male in my early 20s and I feel very confused about my feelings for my girlfriend. We've been girlfriend and boyfriend for nearly two years. We both love each other, both happy together. We've spent extended amounts of time together and been fine - but normally see each other every other weekend for 3-4 days at a time (uni etc, sort of LDR) I've read many posts and threads all over the internet about people with similar issues and I feel like what's getting me down is a combination of these things (In no specific order): 1. I feel young. I occasionally have episodes of Grass is greener on the other side syndrome. I literally can't help but notice hot girls walking by. I have to make a conscious effort not to look sometimes. 2. I am sure I love her - I get jealous/anxious when she's out without me, the thought of her leaving would make me very sad. She 'gets' me and I haven't really met anyone as chill/compatible as her. She has all the right morals and is so kind and understanding. 3. Her gradual weight gain might be depressing me. I lift 3x a week and eat clean most of the time, while she just complains about her weight and keeps eating crap (I never say anything, although have tried to hint at adopting a more healthy lifestyle/eating habits). I feel like this is affecting our sex life; as I am easily turned off by chubbyness and excess cellulite. Thing is, she is naturally beautiful, has great bone structure etc. There are photos of when she was in better shape. This issue has been ongoing for a year or so. The sex is still decent but just not all that exciting. It definitely used to be. I'm wary of being shallow and having unrealistic expectations. I put a lot of effort into my appearance and I just feel a little hurt that she won't do the same. I think this intensifies what I said in #1. On top of this I have a primal drive I feel like I'm surpressing - the hunt, the game, all of that stuff. My motivation in life just 2 years ago used to be just to get laid a lot. Not knowing which woman I may end up with excited me. HOWEVER, I don't really enjoy going out that much anymore, have started to avoid my 'girl' friends because I just feel guilty that I'm actually attracted to them. In essence I just feel guilty about all these thoughts that keep popping up in my head. I don't want to want anyone else. When I have dreams about other girls (sexual) I feel guilty. I would never hurt this girl or want her to be hurt. She's so sensitive. This all being said I do love her so much and we have such amazing memories I don't want to just throw her out of my life because of grass is greener syndrome and my inexperience in the dating world. She is the kind of person I would marry; she's so good to me and so innocent yet why am I wanting more? I want to believe that I am just overthinking things. Maybe something completely unrelated is making me not all that excited about my life. Maybe I have post-uni blues and my relationship is normal and fine? This is my first proper committed relationship. I like the idea of taking it day by day (because I am still young) but these thoughts and cravings don't seem to stop. Advice or further questions or guys/girls who can relate would be really appreciated. N.B I think I may have mild depression/anxiety. Could this be contributing to how I'm feeling about my girlfriend? I just feel like I don't know anything anymore. The last thing I want to do is let go of someone only to realise that it was the biggest mistake I've ever made.
Recommended Posts