Never Again Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I'm a little disappointed in myself. Quick background: girlfriend and I were together for 10 months. At 8 months, she was talking about living together. Then we both had to deal with a lot of work stress. She was overtired, I was discouraged, but despite this negativity we gave each other loads of space but supported one another. At 9 months she was still sending me flirty texts and sexy pictures. Broke up with me one month later saying she felt the chemistry had faded and seemed to think that once it fades, that's it. She thought it would be better to break up and have time apart even though she loves me "SO much". Two months later, she begins chasing a guy that lives 3000 miles away. Calls me crying saying its "nothing" when she discovers that I found out. We've been apart for 4 months. With all the drama and the length of time, I thought I had moved on. We crossed paths today around mutual friends, and she went out of her way to walk over. Smiled and waved at me, and I smiled and waved back. We stayed on opposite sides of the group, but I caught her looking at me a few times - I think she expected me to give her more attention, or at least actually say hello. I had to pretend she was someone I barely knew. I felt my chest tighten up and started feeling awkward, but didn't want it to show. I just kept my distance. I felt all those same feelings of loneliness and rejection well back up and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of my pain or my friendship. I feel foolish for letting her affect me like this after all this time, and we are both going to a wedding next week. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?
GB25 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 it sucks when you think your " over it" but to me its only like " hiding from it". When your just living life and going about your daily routine everything is fine and when I think of her its just a passing thought...but as soon as someone mentions her or i randomly see a pic of her all those feelings come flooding back..not as intense but def a rush of anxiety etc.. So its like I am hiding from her and hiding from any aspect of her life as opposed to actually being over her..weird
Author Never Again Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 Time. NC. Personal growth. /thread I see where you're coming from, but that's not really helpful. I meant for dealing with the wedding, or at least covering up my anxiety during these moments when I'll HAVE to deal with her. Wedding pictures, rehearsal dinner...we have to do it all together. We're both in the wedding party (because the bride is the one that originally set us up). This wedding is important to me because I love my friends and their happiness means a lot to me, especially on their wedding day. I need to be able to act like I'm friends with my ex for this one night...for their sake. I just don't know how, heh.
NomiMalone Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Pfenixphire, It's so kind of you to be so thoughtful and concerned about the happiness of your friends on their wedding day. Your heart is definitely in the right place. At the same time, I'm sure your friends are feeling equally awkward about the situation, and I'm sure they don't expect you and your ex to be super friendly towards each other, so, as much as I know its hard not to, don't think too much about it. Just be civil and polite to her when you see her - its the only thing you can do.
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