Maxtor Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Hey everyone. Im in a strange situation. This girl, her boyfriend cheated on her, she lived with him. She started going out with me, I was a nice guy, she clearly made me a better man, because later she said "im confused and left" and i was heartbroken. This only made me grow up, because we all grow out of conflict. Anyways, i stopped talking to her, she said she needed some space, i gave all the space in the world, i found out she went back to her boyfriend, i told her literally "you are a piece of trash, i want nothing from you, not anymore". She continued ask me why i didnt talk to her, days later she started sending me musics, and saying she missed me. Well, some weeks later, we started going out again because i know she is not happy. Problem is that her family wants them together, they have a house with a mortgage, anyways, i feel like im in a mexican soap something. She said she left him, continued to go out with me, but then she doesnt want to leave her place, and he still lives there. Sometimes i get angry, but when we are together, we have a lot of chemistry and i know she is happy with me. But then, she doesnt leave the house, so many red flags, when i try to step away, she asks for hugs and kisses, and comes to my place, but then again, she never respected me and now she blames me because the feeling she had for me is not the same. I know im being ****ing idiotic, but since this **** started, i begun doing MMA, i got away more mature, and i love this girl, but she is crazy, i mean, completely crazy, last night we had a conversation so crazy that she made me feel guilty. I am going nuts. Anyone ever got through something similar? I know I will never be happy with her, not like this, this is the craziest **** i ever been, i left some details out, too much to type, but now i feel like, i am the crazy one.
coolheadal Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 First off relax. Why did she leave her husband? Did she give you any clue why? Also right now she doesn't have any intent to be with you all she's focusing on his her house, but the husband she has is still there. Technically she still married to him. So that will go against her for one thing sure that's a huge red flag. But she seems to care about you, but then leaves you for the house she has with the husband. I take it there are no kids involve also? This is what I see right now, your intent is to be with her, but she can't since she's still married and has a house. She really wants to keep the house and live it instead with you. You see how she keeps going back to her place (the house). She clearly doesn't want to loose that. Right now you have to give her space and she has to decided either stick it out with the current husband, for file for divorce. This way she could claim the house and keep it. What are you chances it depends on her. This process can be drawn out for months. The husband might give her trouble also. Are you ready to take this challenge on?
Author Maxtor Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 First off relax. Why did she leave her husband? Did she give you any clue why? Also right now she doesn't have any intent to be with you all she's focusing on his her house, but the husband she has is still there. Technically she still married to him. So that will go against her for one thing sure that's a huge red flag. But she seems to care about you, but then leaves you for the house she has with the husband. I take it there are no kids involve also? This is what I see right now, your intent is to be with her, but she can't since she's still married and has a house. She really wants to keep the house and live it instead with you. You see how she keeps going back to her place (the house). She clearly doesn't want to loose that. Right now you have to give her space and she has to decided either stick it out with the current husband, for file for divorce. This way she could claim the house and keep it. What are you chances it depends on her. This process can be drawn out for months. The husband might give her trouble also. Are you ready to take this challenge on? They are not married, just live together. He already admited that he cheated on her, she told me she doesnt love him anymore but she doesnt want to lose her place. I took this challenge months ago, i fear nothing, i crossed paths with him, he chicken out. I know she is happy with me, but everything is against me, her family, his family, friends, the house, their 7 years relationship. But that guys is a jackass, never loved her but now wants to do everything for her. No kids involved, no.
soccerrprp Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 You don't have to give her any space! Are you crazy?! What you need to do is move on and let her be until she is FREE and has her crap together. She's not in a position to have a healthy relationship with you and your post indicates that you know that that is true. You're taking in a lot of drama and garbage that you don't need to. You should step back, way back and tell her that when she is out, moved out that then is when the two of you can revisit the relationship. In the meantime, don't hold your breath... 1
Author Maxtor Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 You don't have to give her any space! Are you crazy?! What you need to do is move on and let her be until she is FREE and has her crap together. She's not in a position to have a healthy relationship with you and your post indicates that you know that that is true. You're taking in a lot of drama and garbage that you don't need to. You should step back, way back and tell her that when she is out, moved out that then is when the two of you can revisit the relationship. In the meantime, don't hold your breath... Yeah, i know...
bubbaganoosh Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 What you have going on is a woman in your life who is indecisive and wants to burn the candle at both ends. I don't care what kind of chemistry you have with her except for the fact that it's going to be explosive in a bad way. She seems to want parts of her current relationship and parts of the relationship that your in with her. All in all, playing both ends to the middle. If she's with another guy and it doesn't matter if he's a good guy or an a-- hole, you shouldn't be with her. Let her sort out the problems with her current man and if it doesn't work, then you can see her on a level playing field and the way she sounds, after the OM is gone, she can start making your life miserable. Go find yourself a woman who isn't tangled up with another guy and then you can have a decent relationship. You really don't have anything. It's like accepting 50% of nothing. 1
Author Maxtor Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 What you have going on is a woman in your life who is indecisive and wants to burn the candle at both ends. I don't care what kind of chemistry you have with her except for the fact that it's going to be explosive in a bad way. She seems to want parts of her current relationship and parts of the relationship that your in with her. All in all, playing both ends to the middle. If she's with another guy and it doesn't matter if he's a good guy or an a-- hole, you shouldn't be with her. Let her sort out the problems with her current man and if it doesn't work, then you can see her on a level playing field and the way she sounds, after the OM is gone, she can start making your life miserable. Go find yourself a woman who isn't tangled up with another guy and then you can have a decent relationship. You really don't have anything. It's like accepting 50% of nothing. Yeah, you are completely right. She made go through a bad time. Once, i felt like she was the best thing ever, now she only makes me feel miserable, when im alone.
soccerrprp Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Yeah, you are completely right. She made go through a bad time. Once, i felt like she was the best thing ever, now she only makes me feel miserable, when im alone. If ANY part of your relationship with a person makes you feel MISERABLE, it's time to go! 1
Author Maxtor Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 If ANY part of your relationship with a person makes you feel MISERABLE, it's time to go! Ill hold on to that. Thanks.
Author Maxtor Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 I guess she doesnt think of me as a future partner, because she has a home, i dont, she has a new car, i have a very old one, my contract is almost over, she belongs to the board. She told someone she needs space and time to clear up her mind and decide whats best for the future. Which makes me very sad, with her i could do anything.
soccerrprp Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 (edited) I guess she doesnt think of me as a future partner, because she has a home, i dont, she has a new car, i have a very old one, my contract is almost over, she belongs to the board. She told someone she needs space and time to clear up her mind and decide whats best for the future. Which makes me very sad, with her i could do anything. Sorry, man. This "thing" you had with this woman is a mess and you know it. Did she ever compare what you had with what she had? Or are you projecting insecurities to justify how this would not have worked out? You say that "with her you could do anything", but you can't w/o her??? You could do anything b/c she had power, money? What does she possess that would have made you more motivated to succeed? Not b/c she was an amazing woman? Great personality? Very affectionate? I wonder if you were and are not more attracted to her position than her as an individual. I'm dating a doctor right now. I am a teacher. We have a history and when I think of her, I don't think, "whoo, I'm dating a doctor." In fact, most times I don't even realize or that it registers that she is one. I totally separate what she does from who she is. I thank goodness I can do that. My feeling is that she needed something short-term and that you were it. She needed an itch scratched and you proved to be convenient. Hard to swallow, but it happens. Perhaps if she gets past her ex that she'll be interested in a serious relationship, but now right now. Not good for her and not good for you. Edited October 6, 2013 by soccerrprp
Author Maxtor Posted October 6, 2013 Author Posted October 6, 2013 Sorry, man. This "thing" you had with this woman is a mess and you know it. Did she ever compare what you had with what she had? Or are you projecting insecurities to justify how this would not have worked out? You say that "with her you could do anything", but you can't w/o her??? You could do anything b/c she had power, money? What does she possess that would have made you more motivated to succeed? Not b/c she was an amazing woman? Great personality? Very affectionate? I wonder if you were and are not more attracted to her position than her as an individual. I'm dating a doctor right now. I am a teacher. We have a history and when I think of her, I don't think, "whoo, I'm dating a doctor." In fact, most times I don't even realize or that it registers that she is one. I totally separate what she does from who she is. I thank goodness I can do that. My feeling is that she needed something short-term and that you were it. She needed an itch scratched and you proved to be convenient. Hard to swallow, but it happens. Perhaps if she gets past her ex that she'll be interested in a serious relationship, but now right now. Not good for her and not good for you. I didnt explain it very well, we work on a very low pay job, like 600 euros. The thing is her mother, which helped her, told her if she traded the other guy for me, she would lose her support. But that guy cheated on her and treated her badly. She says she doesnt love him anymore, but she wants a family, her house and the support of her mother. I tried so many times to back away, but she kept texting me, and showing at my place. And the problem is, we work on the same place. Seeing her everyday makes me feel angry. Yeah, i feel like i was a rebound, but then later on she told she loved me and all that crap.
Joaquin Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Important not to get involved with people who have unresolved issues from previous relationship s. I love you etc are only words. She showed you through her actions she was clearly not over an ex. These kinda characters drive you mad with their push pull antics. No wonder you have a bout of the crazies. You need to get serious space between yourself and this girl. Get your head straight man.
Author Maxtor Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Ok, new twist. This just went plain crazy. A friend of hers, "see's" things, like vodoo or black magic stuff, i dont know. This woman told her someone who wants her badly is doing stuff so thats why the things around her are going nowhere. She blamed me for his mumbo jumbo. I dont even believe in this ****... Another friend of her told me this. I talked to her like 30 mins ago, i opened my heart and told her, i didnt do it, but, if she needs someone to blame, she could blame me. She says things are crazy around her, and bla bla bla, we had quiet a talk, in the end, before i left i told her, if it makes her feel better, yes, she could blame me.
soccerrprp Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Ok, new twist. This just went plain crazy. A friend of hers, "see's" things, like vodoo or black magic stuff, i dont know. This woman told her someone who wants her badly is doing stuff so thats why the things around her are going nowhere. She blamed me for his mumbo jumbo. I dont even believe in this ****... Another friend of her told me this. I talked to her like 30 mins ago, i opened my heart and told her, i didnt do it, but, if she needs someone to blame, she could blame me. She says things are crazy around her, and bla bla bla, we had quiet a talk, in the end, before i left i told her, if it makes her feel better, yes, she could blame me. Huh? Are you in New Orleans? Louisiana? The Bayou? This is getting too weird.
tlegend Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 I mean, really? THIS WHOLE SITUATION is what you want out of a relationship? If so...go after her. Don't take no for an answer. If not, please ask yourself: What the hell are you doing?
Author Maxtor Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 Huh? Are you in New Orleans? Louisiana? The Bayou? This is getting too weird. No, but its like im in a supernatural dark comedy. She believes in all this crap, now she says she wont believe me until she "see's" that is another person. I told her, i dont care, i didnt do it, but you can blame me. I erased all numbers, facebook, all that reminded me of her.
Author Maxtor Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 I mean, really? THIS WHOLE SITUATION is what you want out of a relationship? If so...go after her. Don't take no for an answer. If not, please ask yourself: What the hell are you doing? No, but this just went downhill.
soccerrprp Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 No, but its like im in a supernatural dark comedy. She believes in all this crap, now she says she wont believe me until she "see's" that is another person. I told her, i dont care, i didnt do it, but you can blame me. I erased all numbers, facebook, all that reminded me of her. Good for you! It's getting a little scary to me for you....get away! Her relationship with her mother is also unhealthy! 1
Author Maxtor Posted October 8, 2013 Author Posted October 8, 2013 OK, i ****ed it up! She texted me in the morning, i didnt respond. But, in the evening, i texted her "wanna go out?" she said she couldnt, and then i started asking her why, and saying she would have fun, bla bla bla, she says she is hurt, she needs some space, and i was like "You hurt? wtf did I do to you?". Please criticize me, judge me, im doing everything wrong!!!
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