Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Its been a few months now and I am still all over the place. Some days I am ok and some days now a whole day can go by without me thinking about him. But I often wonder what he is doing, if he misses me, if he regrets his decision, keep going through things in my head. I hate feeling like this. I know we all go through it in life and we do eventually get over it and move on. Just seems like such a long way away before I would get to that point. And its so funny because logically I know that I am better off without him. He really didnt add that much to my life, took a lot from me, took me for granted, and at the end of the day obviously didnt love me. I read stories on here of being contacted after a time and it gives me hope which isnt good because I know that even if he did change his mind I could never take him back after how he's treated me. Just feeling sad.... 2
faithfully Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 HEY, the feelings horrible when you don't know how they are feeling, like you said if they miss you or not, how they are doing?? Break ups are the worst thing ever, but the thing is we know we deserve better but at the time when we go thru a break up we cant help but think about the person. seems like we are in a similar situation here- took a lot from us and definitely took us for granted. People don't appreciate things till its gone. Am sure he will have some regret but some people are just way to stubborn to apologise 1
newguy1008 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 It is sad and moving on is difficult but there is nothing wrong with having hope....what if he comes back as a better person for you? You never know. I went through the same thing and had the exact same mindset, she never came back but.i got over it, but it does take time.
Fashiongal Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I feel the exact same as you. You know he isn't good for you yet you still want to be with him. The worst part is the anxiety from wondering if he is with someone else. I think it is all in the mind. Feeling like we weren't enough and why weren't we enough to try harder for. Letting someone else have the upperhand. The only one who can take away the pain is the one who inflicted it.
theonlyjuan Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I went through the same as you not too long ago, you will get through it. Of course your ex thinks of you, I don't think there is a case where an ex never thinks of theirs. You have to want to move on and do NC for the right reasons, not in hope that they contact you after a while. My ex has recently contacted me after I have been NC for a few months but I wasn't really interested this time. It was more of an annoyance to hear from her because I am moving on really well and don't actually have anything to say to her. I went through these stages in this order 1) Sad 2) Denial 3) Positive 4) Sad 5)Angry 6) Acceptance 7) Indifferent 8) Happy I am now pretty much over it all. You just have to ride out a lot of emotions and not slip into depression, do things that make you happy and try and enjoy life For me it was more about adjusting to a new way of living again and being comfortable with myself, not needing a girlfriend to validate my life. I was always scared of being alone but it is actually really good I defiantly do not miss relationships right now, too much hassle! When you start feeling good you may get these random days where you feel sad but they don't last, you just need to hang in there and it will pass. If you were a good partner and you did nice things etc I believe they will have a harder time. 2
JDPT Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Chin up and eradicate the vicious cycle of ruminating. It's utterly detrimental to you and your health. Shift all this energy towards you and improving yourself. Take it a day at a time and let your wounds heal. In this you will start noticing a change in you. This is a long process sometimes way too long but trust me you will start improving, however, it's up to you to make this happen for you, no one else but you.
Leigh 87 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I can't really relate, as I ... would not really stay with a guy nor would I be able to have much of a capacity to care about them all that much romantically, if they did not reallllly enrich my life and bring me a lot of joy on a daily basis! Sounds like you settled for someone, they left, and you miss them due to the history and time spend together. It will pass. Thank god it was not over a guy who was your best friend, added a lot to your life and who you were crazy about!
im_thedude Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Its been a few months now and I am still all over the place. Some days I am ok and some days now a whole day can go by without me thinking about him. But I often wonder what he is doing, if he misses me, if he regrets his decision, keep going through things in my head. I hate feeling like this. I know we all go through it in life and we do eventually get over it and move on. Just seems like such a long way away before I would get to that point. And its so funny because logically I know that I am better off without him. He really didnt add that much to my life, took a lot from me, took me for granted, and at the end of the day obviously didnt love me. I read stories on here of being contacted after a time and it gives me hope which isnt good because I know that even if he did change his mind I could never take him back after how he's treated me. Just feeling sad.... This is exactly how I've been feeling the past few days. It's so frustrating
Lizzy_000 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I think you are experiencing the horrible feelings that rejection brings. As you said he took you for graned and mostly took away, rather than give. I was in your situation and got over him in about 3 weeks. What helped me was: - keeping a gratitude journal- take 5-10 minutes every day to write about everything in your life that you are grateful for. This will make you feel a lot better - keep busy- go to work, university, gym, classes - anything that will keep your body and mind occupied. This will gradually remove all thoughts of him and make you really happy and satisfied with your life. And work outs will boost your confidence- feeling good about yourself is key. - try to not wait for him to contact you and don't stalk him- that was very difficult for me Do something that makes you feel good every single day- even if it's just treating yourself with a tasty cup of hot chocolate:) In a few weeks all those 'feeling good'times will sum up and your brain will get accustomed to feeling happy, because it was trained to do so. It's just a matter of habits- you have full control over your brain (and life ) Promise yourself now to make the rest of your life the best of your life and WORK on it sister Let me know how it goes, I'll be sending you all my positive thoughts.
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