Real36 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I left my ex 3 months ago due to his flirting and very probably cheating with other girls. I am older than him, I'm 32 he is 24. We still see each other at my job because he comes to my office for work. Now, I think he comes more often than he has to because he wants to check up on me. I have posted on why I still have to see him before. Anyway, I have begun to try to move on and have started dating online. Things are going well on OLD for me so far, been on 2 dates. I have another 2 dates set up for this weekend. It's crazy, but I am trying to actively get on with my life instead of sitting home feeling sad about the recent break up. Today my ex comes to my job. While he is there he tells me that I look good and asks for a hug. I gave him a side hug and went back to my desk. He text me a few minutes later to sneak out for a cigarette. I said no originally but, I just can't resist him so I caved. He wanted to pick me up but I said no to that and just walked to our secret smoking spot. We chatted for 15 minutes or so before I had to leave for a meeting. He asked for another hug and I gave it to him. This time it was a deep one, he hugged me like he used to when we first started seeing each other. He wanted to drive me back to my building but I declined and just walked. The whole time we were together I was just shaking life a leaf and my heart was pounding. I don't know why I have such strong feelings for him. He put me through more than a year of a pseudo relationship and then proved that he didn't really care about me with his actions but he stirs me up so much. I can't let my feelings for him go even though I know he is bad news. Just seeing him make me emotional. I am drawn to him in a way that I just cannot explain or understand. When I got back to my office I got a call from the front desk saying that I had a bouquet of flowers waiting for me. I really didn't think they could be from him but have to admit that I was hopeful. They were from the a guy I went out with last week. He is so sweet and seems to really like me, we are going out again tomorrow. This guy is my age and has his life together. He is what I am looking for on paper. But my interaction with the ex has me all torn up inside. Now I can't stop thinking about him. All of the good and bad from the last year is going through my head like a freight train. How can I possibly get over this when I just deep down don't want to? In all honesty, I love him. I don't think I have ever admitted that before. There is no reason, no explanation, just he affects me. Deeply. It started the first time we laid eyes on each other and I don't think it will ever stop. I am so frustrated, hurt, torn and I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to do.
loversquarrel Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I had this issue with a younger woman I was in a relationship with. I was very much in love with her - very passionate and I had strong feelings for her. Her issues got in the way and problems developed so I had to break up with her. I then found myself meeting a woman who was good on paper. I ended up in a relationship with her and she is now my fiance'. I found that it was worth having a real adult relationship with her. Her passion is very different, it is a healthy kind.
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