JohnDellano Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 First of all... I know I'm a major scumbag. But lemme tell you my story. So I used to date this girl, sweet, nice, clever. She was really crazy about me and I knew that. But I know I'm a player and I like to flirt with other women...and just couldn't stop doing it and she realized it... So she broke up with me, 8 months ago... I went completely NC and she contacted me... Wanting me back, saying she regretted breaking up with me and that she missed me. I didn't make amends with her. Told her I was hurt and that things can't be that easy. I mean... I wanted her but I didn't want her to get things so easily, she has everything she wants, she's rich, she's pretty, has a nice job... she's spoiled... I wanted her to learn a lesson. 2 months later, she comes to me again, asking me about my family, telling me how much she misses me, how much she cares about me and my family... I answer her questions basically saying "yes" and "no"... I didn't want to talk to her, not before she really asked for my forgiveness and showed me she wouldn't dump me again. On Christmas , she messaged me wishing Merry Christmas, saying "God bless you and your family" and asking if I was well. I didn't answer. On New Year's Eve, she sent me a "Happy 2013" message. Once again, I didn't answer. I began following her in Instagram , though, because I missed seeing her pics and also what she was up to. Maybe she interpreted this gesture as something encouraging, because the next day she messaged me saying she missed talking to me... that she would like at least to be my friend because she regretted dumping me and that I was being super cruel and super harsh for having rejected her 3 times ... I told her things don't work this way and that I needed time to think. She told me I was giving her mixed signs and that she wouldn't keep insisting forever for me to talk to her... She told me "If you don't talk to me, if I'm always the only one to start the conversation, I'll give up and never talk to you again..." I said she was overreacting. I mean, once again , I wanted her, but things ... I COULDN'T MAKE EVERYTHING SO EASY FOR HER. So 3 weeks later (and I kept liking her pictures on Instagram, I mean, why not? I didnt hate her) , she sent me a message asking me about my mother (who was sick at that moment), I answered her briefly and she said "Oh... okay... Well, I gotta go now. Have a good night. XOXO and take care". 5 months have passed by. She never talked to me again. She deleted her Instagram account, blocked me from Skype and finished with every possible way I could use to talk to her. The only thing of hers I now have is her number. I miss her so badly and I think I screwed up. Is it too late to talk to her and ask if she wants me back? I'm thinking about doing it...
ponchsox Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I wouldn't come right out and ask if she wants you back. Ask her if she's willing to meet for coffee. If she is, go from there. Women do not like a desperate man. 1
J21 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I don't think its completely over as you think. She may have gone NC because she wants to move forward. From what you tell us, it doesn't seem like she doesn't hate your guts since you've had some contact back and forth. Give her a call dude. Tell her she's been on your mind a lot and see where it goes from there. If she gives it another go, don't be the same player type guy though. Good luck man, I'm rooting for ya. Let us know how it goes if you decide to go for it. 1
loversquarrel Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Judging from your post you seem to be playing some sort of control game with her that caught up with you and bit you in the ass, and rightfully so. It's the price you pay for playing games. That being said, I don't think it would be over with her, but she has had plenty of time to have met someone else. If that's the case then you learned a lesson you were trying to teach. Dumb move. 3
h0000 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 She dumped you cuz you flirt with other girls.and later she just came back? not even asking you to change? so are you going to change it anyways? if not no point she comes back now cuz she's gonna leave again. When you say you are a player, do you mean you dont want to be in an exclusive relationship or what? sorry it is just a bit confusing cuz technically you should be asking her back apologizing being a player..not the other way around and you teach her a lesson? 1
Salvatore85 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 So you didn't want her when you could have her but now that she's gone NC you're madly in love with her? I hope everyone who begs their ex to come back reads this post and can fully grasp the concept of NC and why staying in contact with your ex never gets them back...
veggirl Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 you sound like a massive dick. I feel really sorry for her. You were betraying HER trust and then being a freaking jerk when she (unfortunately for her) tried to mend fences. Leave her alone. You sound terribly selfish. Now that she doesn't want you, you want her. Get over yourself and grow up and learn how to treat people respectfully. I hope for her sake that she doesn't want you back anymore. 3
Stealth3 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Yep, you ****ed up dude. Its not about making it easy or hard, this isn't a ****ing game. Its about the willingness to work **** out, to realize your and her regrets/mistakes and work them out, to communicate. Yeah you don't have to take her back the minute she begs, but **** dude....5 months? You overdid NC if you ask me.
melell Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 This is the thing, and I agree with stealth somewhat here, there is a fine line between keeping your dignity, and letting things completely turn to sh**. Using nc as anything more than a tool for you to move on is a recipe for disaster. From what you have said, I don't think either of you really love each other. And you need to forget it.
Fashiongal Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I wouldn't normally say this to someone but after my own issues I would like to say it to every guy. Yeah you are a major scumbag. She breaks up with you because YOU are flirting with other women and instead of apologizing to her and simply not doing it, you treat her more like ****. You should have been the one texting HER all of those times and not the other way around. I hope you are under the age of 21. Sadly it probably isn't too late but I kinda hope it is. She doesn't deserve that. 1
todreaminblue Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I actually feel for you, you seem to have remorse and realize you made a huge mistake.....i dont know if you can get her back 5 months is a fair amount of time, you could try , tell her it was you who made the mistake and you realise that, ask her to forgive you , i also suggest that you tell her this in person....so maybe call her, as an icebreaker and ask to meet her in person ......i wish you luck...games never pay ...but you know that....i wish you well hope it works out...deb
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