ClapYou123 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 During these last few years, I've dated a succession of women of various ages, from various backgrounds. And it never works out, I am always hurt. I'm 29, and a lesbian. I'm not on any gay scene, I don't cheat, I'm caring, average looking, I think I'm just an average person. My friends describe me as loyal, funny, bright, smart, affectionate. Every time I start dating one of these women, they come on very strongly and then back off as just as quickly, and then I'm left hurting. I've been seeing a woman for the last four months, and unusually for me, it was a very slow burner. She was very much into me and I wasn't into her. We spent a LOT of time together, more than I've ever spent with anyone. This led me to think that I wouldn't be in this situation again, but here I am. She's told me she "isn't ready", that she wants me but "doesn't want a relationship". She tells me she misses me all the time, sends me messages about how she misses my cuddles, etc etc. But just as often, she will disappear or not reply to my messages. I haven't been chasing her, I've just let her be. But I just, I'm fed up of dealing with this feeling. I'm fed up of having to "move on" all the time. I have questioned whether it's me, but I don't think it is. A close friend of mine who is a singer, very popular young woman, hundreds of friends, beautiful - she is similar to me in that she always seems to be going through some form of heartbreak. I'm losing hope and trust in people and I don't know how I can look into the future and hope to meet someone when this keeps happening. I'm not needy, I'm not overbearing - I just go with the flow but I keep getting let down. And it really, really hurts. And I just don't know what to do, I'm feeling very anxious (I suffer from depression and anxiety) and for the last two days I've had to go out, and spend money I don't have on travel, just because I couldn't stay in alone. I felt sick, shaky, nervous. All because of this situation. I can't relax or eat, I can't do anything. These situations do nothing but bring me down and these women don't seem to care - this latest one has gone out clubbing, and hasn't even bothered to reply to a message I sent at 3pm. The worst thing is is that she keeps being nice - telling me how beautiful I am, etc etc. I would prefer it if she was just cold and blunt, but she isn't. I'm just so sick of being in this position, and I don't know what to do to make myself feel better. I don't know what advice I'm even asking for, I really don't.
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 What is the common denominator here? You. You are attracting this type. You are enduring the unfulfilling type. It can't always be "them". Have you looked into therapy? I wish you good luck.
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