hihihiliz Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Hi all, My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months. Before we "had the talk" about what we were, we got into a fight because I royally messed up and embarrassed him in front of his brother and friends by being overly flirty with everyone at the bar. He forgave me and gave me a second chance and since then we've had the same fight over and over again. I feel like nothing I can do is right and I've tried so hard to not do anything that would make him lose trust. Last night he got really mad because I told a story about a guy who I've talked about a couple of times before. This fight was even worse than any of the other small fights and he basically said that I am very self centered and a whole list of other things that I do. What I was hoping for is advice on how to let him know that I do really love him and that I want this to work and move forward. I'm worried this is my last chance and I really don't want to lose him.
Polak Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Best way to show him that you truly love his is to SHOW him. From what you've posted, it sounds like you've done exactly the opposite... Turn it around! He should be motivation enough for ya. Let him know how much he means to you and then actually make a solid effort to change for the better. Focus on him. 1
lylat333 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I know what it's like to be the guy who starts to feel like he can't trust his girlfriend. My gf screwed up when I first started seeing her, and after I found more about her past she was on really thin ice with me but I was trying to give it an honest chance. I know she felt at times she could never live up to my expectations. My advice is if you haven't done so already, make it clear you want this to work. And, in order for this to work you are probably going to have to change fundamentally as a person. But, don't just change because of your ex, you change for you, or if you don't want to change it isn't going to work. You're going to have to be the woman who never exhibits the past behavior that caused problems, because you are no longer that person. You also don't want to get sucked into the same fight again and again and it's OK to stand your ground. You can say something like, "I know you're upset but we can't keep having the same argument. I need you to either give me a chance or this isn't going to work." Try not to get too emotional because it will cloud your judgment and his. Allow his negative emotions to subside so you can have a better grounds for communication. I wish you the best, if he is not ready to give up I think you still have a chance. You'll have to be on your A+ behavior because he'll be very sensitive for a while.
jba10582 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 This sounds about how my relationship started too. Although, my relationship ended up lasted more than five more years after that. She was always flirty with other guys in the beggining. At the time, I did not let it affect me and made it clear I was disappointed in her and not looking to play games. In a LTR one of the needs of a guy is respect and is JUST as imporant as appreciation is to females.
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