Scirok Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 So in advance I apologize for my grammar and punctuation haha. So little about myself I'm 24 I will be 25 in a month and I'm having a very hard time finding a girlfriend or even a girl to date. I've been single for a year now and I feel like girls are just not interested in me I talk to several girls and it just seems like I get friend zoned or ignored. I'm not sure what I'm saying wrong I've re read my convos and had friends read them as we'll to see if I'm saying something wrong and they can't find anything wrong so I'm lost for words in this situation. I just feel so desperate now. All my friends have girlfriends and I just feel like such a loser and it's become a bit of a joke in my group of friends cause even when they try and hook me up with their friends it fails. I'm just confused I know I lack confidence and that's most likely the issue but it's not to the point where I don't talk to girls etc. I know I'm not the best looking guy I'm slightly over weight short 5' 9" and not the best looking but I've always had pretty girlfriends out of my league and it can't get a single girl to look my way now I'm just curious what I should do I'm lost for words and so are my friends I don't know what I'm doing wrong
Polak Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Right now I'll say this: doesn't matter how much you weigh, what your height is, appearance etc. What it sounds like, as much as you don't want to hear it, is that you are desperate. Girls can smell desperation from a mile away. Look into some of these other threads on here, similar issues in many places. The advice here, even just to take the first step, is to not worry about it. The moment you are truly happy with yourself, and I mean truly, someone is bound to come along. You have to see singleness as a great thing, not just that you are a loser and can't fit in, or whatever other reason... Being single has so many pluses, but some people never think about that. So, when you talk to girls now, don't have any agenda or hopeful goal in the back of your mind. Talk to them just for the hell of it, or just for fun, or to build confidence skills (always helps!). Don't make it a point to try to get dates. Go out and find stuff to do, hobbies that you love, and be happy doing it. You will definitely notice that you become happier when you don't give so much of a damn about the females. And guess what... the females will notice you happier as well. I know many people can't just turn the tables immediately, so take it at a reasonable pace. It should be a process, not a moment of realization. Have fun changing it up!
Author Scirok Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 I just find it very hard to be happy with myself I just really bothers me being that third wheel spare tire to every activity my friends do. I just don't know what to do I have a hard time being confident when I know in the back of my head girls are not interested in me.
Polak Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 See, you have to get over that mindset you have or else your future prospects won't be lookin' too good. You can't let your lack of confidence, or whatever else it is, drag you down and prevent you from improving yourself. First step, as stated above, is to just let go of all those wishful desires you have in your mind, and start seeing all the positive sides to being single. Obvious examples: more money for yourself, doing stuff when you want, not reporting to anyone, etc. I'm sure you can think of plenty more. I'm sure when you go out with friends, not everyone is carrying along their dates all the time. If so, avoid those group outings until you get your head together (especially if you're the only single guy and everyone else is being lovey, but that would annoy any rational single person anyway.) Or, of course you can always make new friends, maybe ones that enjoy doing certain hobbies you do. There are so many options out there. But until you decide to actually turn a new leaf about this whole dating/girls thing, you will keep spiraling into negativity. That's the way your mind works, unfortunately. Make an effort to change. I promise you will see benefits to a changed mindset within a few weeks.
jimloveslips Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Stop looking. Do stuff you like doing, and before you know it there will be a girl who's doing it to. Be honest. Be nice. Desperation makes you act desperate and that comes across as unlikeable, insincere and aggressive - all turn offs. You're only 25! Hang out with your friends, do things with them... someone will turn up when you least expect it... Ease up on the chase, let them chase you...
Author Scirok Posted October 7, 2013 Author Posted October 7, 2013 I know and I have heard it from tons of my friends it's just so depressing I get friend zoned by every girl I talk to or online dating is just a ****ing waste I message girls and don't even get responses
Polak Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 1. Online dating typically is a massive waste of time 2. Instead of throwing a pity party, go out and try to implement the advice we're giving you into your daily life. You will see results eventually and feel way better about your whole situation.
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