Author bohica Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) Ah, so she has something of sentimental value for you and yet you forgot about it until just now? How so? Were you so preoccupied with timing your follow-up with her that you forgot until just now? Or were you just too busy talking back to/contradicting everyone who posted in this thread? Sigh, you're fulla **** bub. *close thread plz There is no AHH other then in your mind. Just because I didn't previously mention it here in this forum, in this thread doesn't mean I forgot. Does it? It really wasn't relevant. I am sorry you see things the way you do. You really have no idea what your talking about and what you just said makes no sense at all. You see things with your own mind and choose to respond based on what you see and not actually what is being said. I don't see where or when I contradicted anyone and I don't know what to tell you if you won't take my word that I was only trying to correct you. Please. I am doing nothing wrong by being here and taking part in this. I don't ask why you are here and my issues may seem lame and trivial to you but they aren't to me. I'd appreciate it if you don't take part in my discussions anymore. - thank you Edited October 5, 2013 by bohica
heartshaped Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I know you're confused, OP, because for the life of me I cannot get a read on this woman. Maybe she's seeing other people? But that doesn't seem to quite add up. Maybe she isn't that interested? But she's gone on three dates and been intimate with you...Maybe she's looking for something casual? But then why doesn't she just say so? I'd tell her that you need/want sentimental item back and that if it's too much trouble for you to come get it she can just drop it off at your place or in your mailbox etc.
heartshaped Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 There is no AHH other then in your mind. Just because I didn't previously mention it here in this forum, in this thread doesn't mean I forgot. Does it? It really wasn't relevant. I am sorry you see things the way you do. You really have no idea what your talking about and what you just said makes no sense at all. You see things with your own mind and choose to respond based on what you see and not actually what is being said. I don't see where or when I contradicted anyone and I don't know what to tell you if you won't take my word that I was only trying to correct you. Please. I am doing nothing wrong by being here and taking part in this. I don't ask why you are here and my issues may seem lame and trivial to you but they aren't to me. I'd appreciate it if you don't take part in my discussions anymore. - thank you Also, re: Atem, I'm pretty sure you can block him by clicking on his name, view public profile, then click user lists add to ignore list. I think that should clear that up.
Author bohica Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 I know you're confused, OP, because for the life of me I cannot get a read on this woman. Maybe she's seeing other people? But that doesn't seem to quite add up. Maybe she isn't that interested? But she's gone on three dates and been intimate with you...Maybe she's looking for something casual? But then why doesn't she just say so? I'd tell her that you need/want sentimental item back and that if it's too much trouble for you to come get it she can just drop it off at your place or in your mailbox etc. I think she is seeing other people. This is the update. I called her this afternoon to ask her out this Sunday as I have an unexpected day off. She didn't answer so I left a message. That was around 1:30pm. I know she wasn't working. Around 730 I still hadn't heard from her so isent a quick text asking uf she got my message. I waited an hour then sent another text saying I get the feeling she isn't interested anymore and that I'm stopping by in a few days to get my item. At the very moment I pressed send to send that text I got one from her saying she already had plans for Sunday.She asked for sometime during the week. I just said Listen I like you and I am enjoy ing getting to know you but I'm sensing you have ither rhing going on. I said " I'm open to continuing getting to know her but she needs to Let me know if your interested and when your available". I can't play guessing games and I won't chase someone who is going to reject my offers. I asked if I can call her but she said she's out to dinner.
Author bohica Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 If a guy I dated didnt talk to me soon after screwing me the first time, Id assume hes the emotionally detached type and not too into me and back off. I said in the beginning of the thread that I contacted her the very next day. In fact I contacted her that night when I got home. I then waited two days to contact her again.
Author bohica Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) I probably ruined it by saying those things but I don't want to waste my time on someone who isn't giving me any signals that tell me she's interested. I wasn't trying to make a big deal of it with her but that's probably how it sounded. I suppose I didn't have to say anything at all. However, I think it's important (if your interested) to let someone know where you stand that your interested but your time is valuable instead of just blowing it all off. I want to continue to see her and to get to know her. I think underneath she has many layers that I'd like to tap into. I just need a little positive reinforcement, a little excitement. Even if it's just a casual thing. In additional, I needed to say listen it's doesn't appear your interested so I want to come pick up my item sooner then later. I was rejected twice (though I understand one of my offers were last minute) she didn't respond to a couple of text messages and a phone call. She didn't even respond when I said she didn't seem very interested. If you want something casual tell me. I'll call you next month but I can't keep guessing on whether or not I should or shouldn't contact you or whether or not I'll get a response or a rejection. Edited October 5, 2013 by bohica
Atem Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 There is no AHH other then in your mind. Just because I didn't previously mention it here in this forum, in this thread doesn't mean I forgot. Does it? It really wasn't relevant. I am sorry you see things the way you do. You really have no idea what your talking about and what you just said makes no sense at all. You see things with your own mind and choose to respond based on what you see and not actually what is being said. I don't see where or when I contradicted anyone and I don't know what to tell you if you won't take my word that I was only trying to correct you. Please. I am doing nothing wrong by being here and taking part in this. I don't ask why you are here and my issues may seem lame and trivial to you but they aren't to me. I'd appreciate it if you don't take part in my discussions anymore. - thank you Lol - listen, I and a bunch of other people gave u sound advice and u kept ignoring it while repeating your question and adding random details to the story Hence, I stopped taking you seriously and labeled u a troll. However, on the off chance that this is indeed real and you're not just stringing people along, here's what happened: - you slept with this girl and did NOT make things clear by saying smth like "I had fun tonite, I'll call you [insert time here]". If you had, then you couldve judged based on her reaction whether you were a 1-time **** or a real interest for her - then you kept over-thinking things and went into the "I'm making myself nuts" spiral which resulted in you thinking about this particular girl almost constantly and playing through various scenarios of how you'll ping her and how she'll respond and then fall for you - simultaneously, you played the "hard to get" game by not contacting her and waiting for her to make the "first move" - then you caved 3 to 4 days later and bombarded her with contact - 1 call and several texts on the same day which SCREAMED "I'm needy" at her - so, she took a hike (or she was never interested in the first place - we'll never know) Sorry to break it to you bub but you screwed up. Now - this happens to everyone and the reason I know exactly how you feel and why you did what you did is because I've been through stuff like this as well. So, referring back to my initial response to you, do not get invested in a particular girl early on (first 5-6 dates at least) and especially not after youve had sex for the first time. It's the 21st century and sometimes girls just need someone to scratch their itch... Also, to avoid putting a single girl on a pedestal, multi-date. Everybody does it nowadays and UNLESS you agree to be exclusive with someone, you're not doing anything wrong. If you do this, it'll be much easier to accept certain women just dropping you and you'll have much more choice yourself. So here you go - just my 2c (with a little toned down language and without my usual boldness, this time) ^^
Author bohica Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) Lol - listen, I and a bunch of other people gave u sound advice and u kept ignoring it while repeating your question and adding random details to the story Hence, I stopped taking you seriously and labeled u a troll. However, on the off chance that this is indeed real and you're not just stringing people along, here's what happened: - you slept with this girl and did NOT make things clear by saying smth like "I had fun tonite, I'll call you [insert time here]". If you had, then you couldve judged based on her reaction whether you were a 1-time **** or a real interest for her - then you kept over-thinking things and went into the "I'm making myself nuts" spiral which resulted in you thinking about this particular girl almost constantly and playing through various scenarios of how you'll ping her and how she'll respond and then fall for you - simultaneously, you played the "hard to get" game by not contacting her and waiting for her to make the "first move" - then you caved 3 to 4 days later and bombarded her with contact - 1 call and several texts on the same day which SCREAMED "I'm needy" at her - so, she took a hike (or she was never interested in the first place - we'll never know) Sorry to break it to you bub but you screwed up. Now - this happens to everyone and the reason I know exactly how you feel and why you did what you did is because I've been through stuff like this as well. So, referring back to my initial response to you, do not get invested in a particular girl early on (first 5-6 dates at least) and especially not after youve had sex for the first time. It's the 21st century and sometimes girls just need someone to scratch their itch... Also, to avoid putting a single girl on a pedestal, multi-date. Everybody does it nowadays and UNLESS you agree to be exclusive with someone, you're not doing anything wrong. If you do this, it'll be much easier to accept certain women just dropping you and you'll have much more choice yourself. So here you go - just my 2c (with a little toned down language and without my usual boldness, this time) ^^ Ok man. Listen. I will entertain this one last time. I asked you not to take part in my discussions. You have it wrong again and you don't know what your talking about. To address in order and in no defensive manner your points.. - I told her that night and the next morning I had a GREAT time. I feel like I am repeating myself here over and over again. I said I spoke to her. - I'll skip the second one because your assuming you know what was going through my head. You don't. - I did not by any means play hard to get. I spoke to her the next day (repeated again) and called her a couple of days (tuesday) later. She was away Sunday and Monday. I asked her out again Tuesday for later in the week and she said she was busy. - I did not 'cave' a few days later and send several text messages and a call. I called her once again (as advised by someone here who responded to this thread) and that was yesterday. Calling everyday and contacting her would have screamed needy as you say and I just met this girl. I then followed up 7hrs later with a text..I won't talk about the number of texts or who texted who and when or what was said. Again, you don't know what your talking about and you don't seem to follow things correctly. You don't seem to want to listen to what the OP (me) is telling you. Those other people did give good advise and what makes you think I ignored them? You have no basis for that. You are not giving advise. Your dissecting the entire thing and criticizing. If you read the responses they are not dissecting the order of things step by step and passing comment and one person even suggested I am doing the right thing. Again, please stop responding. That is the last time I will try to correct you. I don't know why you are here but clearly there is some dating issues of your own your going through or advise that your seeking. So, your probably not perfect and being that your still a young guy. I am sure you have a lot to learn about women and dating. Be yourself. Eventually you'll find someone who appreciates you for who you are. I was just trying to figure this one girl out. That is it....... Edited October 5, 2013 by bohica
deathandtaxes Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 I called her this afternoon to ask her out this Sunday as I have an unexpected day off. She didn't answer so I left a message. That was around 1:30pm. I know she wasn't working. Around 730 I still hadn't heard from her so isent a quick text asking uf she got my message. I waited an hour then sent another text saying I get the feeling she isn't interested anymore and that I'm stopping by in a few days to get my item. At the very moment I pressed send to send that text I got one from her saying she already had plans for Sunday.She asked for sometime during the week. That's all you need to know bro. She's not interested. She doesn't respond and you keep trying. Now you're coming across as either needy or creepy. And the leaving something at her place so you can go back later is such a bull**** creep move. It's so cliché. If she hasn't responded about your possession, let it go. Showing up randomly to collect a possession when you are not in contact = creepy.
truth_seeker Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 leaving something at her place so you can go back later is such a bull**** creep move. I think George Costanza did this on an episode of Seinfeld.
Author bohica Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) Hahaha. I think George did do that. I am telling you I would not do something like that. Not in a million years. It was an honest truthful accident and I wasn't happy I did it. I would be a fool to think someone wouldn't see right through that. The idea of it is ridiculous to me. I know the truth so it really doesn't matter. I just wouldn't do that. End of story. No one has to believe me. Also, I can not and will not let it go. Also, it's not like she doesn't respond. Its how she responds and when she responds. I can't go through it all again. It's getting exhausting. A few people have gotten it right and understand the picture i am trying to paint. I am afraid I am not good at writing so it's hard to paint an accurate story. In the end though excluding the other stuff DEATHANDTAXES is right. She's not interested or at least not that interested. Thank you all for taking part. I appreciate all the feedback. Edited October 5, 2013 by bohica
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