Unable to decide

[Mrme2323]

Help. I started seeing a girl in May, she is someone i used to be great friends with a long time ago but we lost touch. We agreed no emotion just sex because we'd both been hurt recently and neither was in a good place. We spent lots of time together and after 1 month she was pregnant (unplanned of course). Anyway we talked, i said i would support whatever she wanted to do. She decided she wanted to have the baby and for us to have a life together. Everything was great until week 11 when she miscarried and i had to rush her to hospital. After that point she started pushing me away telling me she feels guilty for losing my baby. I explain these things happen but she won't listen and she won't grieve.

After a few weeks she ended it telling me she needed time to heal and we would be together in the future. I gave her time, after a few weeks she rang me and we spent time together, it was like it used to be, then within a week she was back to pushing me away. I tried to give her space but couldn't so i phoned her, later that night i was sleeping at hers, even went to a wedding with her, we had unprotected sex every time(yep that stupid) then back to the push treatment.

When i ask why, she says she loves me , because of the baby our connection is deep and because of that if we are going to be together it's a forever decision. Our relationship can't progress like a normal relationship would, we have already progressed so far. When she was pregnant the decision was made for her but now she isn't she can't make that kind of monumental decision at the moment. I think the unprotected sex is her trying to remove the need for her to make a decision again. At first i really thought her explanation was an excuse, but when we do see each other which is quite regularly i can see her wrestling with the idea of us, she talks about what it would be like to buy a house, have a family etc. it's not like she needs me for financial stability because she is successful and earns the same as i do.

Bottom line is, what do i do? I love this girl. Do i risk wasting 6 months of my life waiting for her or do i just move on?

[Philosoraptor]

I'm sorry to hear your situation. She needs to seek professional help regarding the loss of your child. Until that happens she's not going to be able to maintain a healthy relationship.