selfimprovement Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Met a girl about three months ago. Thought things were going really well with her during the first three dates. We would kiss each other a lot, text each other often, etc. I felt a very strong attraction to her at first. Then all of a sudden, she told me she would like to "be friends for now." I asked her why, and she said, "I have not fully gotten over my ex yet even though I find you very attractive." I was quite upset and hurt because my gut feeling told me we would make a great couple. Since I do like her a person and see so many positive qualities in her, I said to myself, "Okay, we probably won't be lovers. However, I still believe she is an amazing person. Maybe I will try this friend thing out for now." However, the reality was different. I continued to hang out with her a few times, but in the end I had to tell her I couldn't do it anymore because I saw her a girl I wanna date. I told her I wanted to go NC with her at least for a few months because right now we are obviously looking for different things. I said, "let's talk again when both of us are either ready to be friends or ready to date." She reluctantly agreed to going NC. Then, two weeks later, we ran into each other at our school dining hall. We spoke briefly. She seemed or pretended to be so happy to see me. But I still maintained that we go NC after that brief encounter. She's been posting random things on my fbook wall and sending me random texts since then. I've been giving no response or a very short response to those. I am going on dates with other girls, but I am still thinking about her a lot. It's a problem. What do I do?
flight E Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Jst stay strong n don't act lik a wuss she will come around
r321148 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 You do what's best for you. If you can deal with being her friend then be her friend, if you can't then don't. If NC is best for you then continue to do that. Do what you need to do, focus on you and if she comes around she comes around. You can't change her mind on this, only she can do that. Incidentally I don't necessarily buy into this whole "friendzone" thing. I have had friendships turn into relationships before (my 2 longest) and know plenty of other people who have too. If the connection between you is strong enough then the friendship could well develop into a relationship, but you have to be ok with the fact that maybe she really does just like you as a friend. If you can't do that then don't be friends with her. 1
lylat333 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Incidentally I don't necessarily buy into this whole "friendzone" thing. I have had friendships turn into relationships before (my 2 longest) and know plenty of other people who have too. "friendzone" around here often refers to going from a relationship to a friendship, which is a bad idea. Going from a friendship to a relationship is a great thing - that's how relationships should be! "Friendzone" is when there's obvious unrequited love.
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