lease2000 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) I am posting about close friendships. I am 32 years and female and have 2 close male friends. I have had difficulty over the years relating to women and forming close friendships. It seems I lack the interests that other women have and where I work the female women I work with love to do small talk and talk about the latest movies, their families and other things I don't really relate to as well as a bit of gossip. I have a lot of acquaintances and do have a couple of women friends but none I would call close. Having tried to form friendships and make some girlfriends most of them have faded over the years I have made an effort to make contact and I mostly don't hear back from most of the women friends I have met. I have tried to make close friends and wonder if it is worth worrying about not having close friends. I really don't know how to make close friends. I am shy but have made an effort to socialise outside of work joining clubs and doing volunteer work most of the time I don't form a connection with other women. I do get lonely at times. My question is - do people need to have close friends and should I worry too much about this issue? If other people are having trouble making close friends would be great to see some posts :-) Edited October 4, 2013 by lease2000 1
eotdevice Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Lease, I am the same way, but roles reversed. I am 42 and most of my close friends are women. One is a girlfriend and others are co-workers. My closest male friends I see perhaps 2-3 times per year and we text or email a few times per month. I too am involved in clubs and groups that tend to be all male participants, but none are friends beyond those hobbies. I don't feel bad because I don't have male friends I talk to each and every day. For me I think I am a bit shy but 'normal' in most other regards. best of luck 1
All about Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 My situation is that my mate is my only friend and it's not practical. He doesn't want to be with me all the time so I have lots of time alone which is unhealthy. He rarely approves of my friends or he gets too close to them. How can I balance this, make him see I have to have friends to be healthy before I end up bitterly alone? Suggestions?
Glassback Posted October 11, 2013 Posted October 11, 2013 Hi , I'm 48. I feel like a Hermit & have learned to live with it ! I used to be such a great friendly person until I realised that people only want to get to know you for whatever they can get from you. People are so selfish. If they can't get anything they want from you, it could be anything? Then they go to the next person. And so on. They're like monkeys leaping from tree to tree. So I don't bother with people anymore...give them long enough rope, they will always hang themselves (figure of speech)... The truth always comes out in the end. I have been a loyal, dependable , honest, discreet, talkative chatty,funny, great, even Mr wonderful best friends with a lot of people at some stage of my life in friendships...But they always, always, seem to move on as if they needed more. They are just never satisfied. So, I just don't bother any longer. I do my own thing . I do the things I love to do. I feel I don't need to have anyone in my life anymore. If I am going to meet someone compatible for me . I suspect it will be doing the things that I love doing. I don't force anything , I don't even think about people any longer. Unless a conversation is initiated. I find that people who are happy and comfortable in their own company. Are the happiest. They don't seem to need anything, nor anyone. It just happens. Some friendships develop , some don't. I find that wearing a warm sincere smile , that costs nothing. Is the way to be.... Good luck. Be happy in yourself. It's your life . your rules. x 1
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