eric85 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Does anyone have any advice on this matter? I am trying to get over my ex and I know its easiest when you never have to see them again. Unfortunately I will have to see mine every week. My worst thought, the one that is literally driving me insane is what am I to do when she gets serious with someone else(which won't be long because she's gorgeous) and have to see them together?
oracle Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Ya thats brutal, I don't envy you brother. Listen.. its gonna suck, and its gonna make u wanna curl up and die when you watch her move on.. and your brain will run wild. Its especially hard when they are attractive and others want them, it acts like magnifying glass on the perceived value that you will attach to her. All I can say is you get used to it. I have lived with my ex for over 3 years, and got to know about everything.. when he had sex with someone else for the first time in his life... had a new BF. I got to also watch it crash an burn and realizes his issues are his alone and didn't have anything to do with me. Hang in there Does anyone have any advice on this matter? I am trying to get over my ex and I know its easiest when you never have to see them again. Unfortunately I will have to see mine every week. My worst thought, the one that is literally driving me insane is what am I to do when she gets serious with someone else(which won't be long because she's gorgeous) and have to see them together?
Omei Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Create a visiting plan where you dont have to see her if thats possible untill you can handle seeing her. 1
hinatticus Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I have felt your pain man. Go through my threads and you'll see what I went through. Good luck man
Author eric85 Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 Ya thats brutal, I don't envy you brother. Listen.. its gonna suck, and its gonna make u wanna curl up and die when you watch her move on.. and your brain will run wild. Its especially hard when they are attractive and others want them, it acts like magnifying glass on the perceived value that you will attach to her. All I can say is you get used to it. I have lived with my ex for over 3 years, and got to know about everything.. when he had sex with someone else for the first time in his life... had a new BF. I got to also watch it crash an burn and realizes his issues are his alone and didn't have anything to do with me. Hang in there I already feel like curling up and dying. I can't eat I don't even want to get outta bed. The funny thing is before her I had a serious relationship and a child with her so I shouldn't even be having to ask this question but that was completely dif. because I hated her in the end and could have cared less to see her with someone else. That would be very hard living with an ex for 3 years. I don't know that I'm as strong as you I doubt I could handle that. I do believe in freeing the one you love and if they come back it was meant to be, but how do you know they are coming back for the right reason and not just because they get screwed by another guy or their struggling financially,etc.? Thank you for the response though. this site is great, it helps me a lot to know that I'm not alone and can read of ppl going through the same thing at the same time.
Author eric85 Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 so you are not concern about the child. but about if she will have someone new or not. hmm.... what about move on with your life. stop hoping or thinking she can be yours again. and have the mind set that you are there only for your kid. and i guess you see her only to hang the kid over to her? just do that and leave. Of course I'm concerned about the child, what kind of foolish question is that? I have also raised a daughter of hers from a previous relationship with her so that child thinks of me as her dad,so of course the children are a huge concern but thats a whole other topic. It's hard to move on with your life when children are involved i'm guessing you haven't been in that situation by your response. You want your children to have both their parents around full time not just be a weekend dad.
Omei Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 so you are not concern about the child. but about if she will have someone new or not. hmm.... what about move on with your life. stop hoping or thinking she can be yours again. and have the mind set that you are there only for your kid. and i guess you see her only to hang the kid over to her? just do that and leave. You're a bit on the cold side here He just went through a breakup by his post its obvious visitation is already been established without argument now as he needs to heal he's asking how he is too cope when he has to see her move on in front of his eyes without choice of nc. I also think by that responce maybe you do not have children, just becuse children are in our lives does not mean we dont stop feeling for ourselfves too! A healthy happy parent reflects on a child and thats what this man is trying to get to. 1
Author eric85 Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 So today was the first day the NC had been broken. My daughter became sick and had to go the Dr. so I felt it was only fair to call and let her know. Since we never actually had an official ending yet I went ahead and pursued a conversation to get my closure. I told her when she said she didnt know what she wanted anymore that I understood that meant life with me was done. I let her know that I loved her and that meant wanting her to be happy even if that isn't with me. I also let her know I wasn't going to wait around until she knew what she wanted and she agreed that I should move on with my life. This was very hard to hear from someone I was engaged to, had children with, and pictured a future with. It's honestly like within a matter of a week her whole feelings took a 180. I believe she is mentally unstable and doesn't really know what she wants in life and I know thats only going to leave me hurt if we ever tried again. I deleted everything I have with her as far as pics together on fb and messages and such and plan on packing her things soon and moving them to the garage so I don't have to be reminded of her when I see her belongings. I feel so empty and don't see this feeling leaving me any time soon. I feel as though my whole world has been taken from me unexpectadly. I am so worried about other guys being around my children and the thought of her happy with another man makes me really go into a panic attack. I will go back to NC after tonight and will probably keep that permanant unless something major comes up with the kids. I will deal with her mom on arangements for a while until I think I can handle seeing her. 1
Omei Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Good move your now on the road to healing just stick with it!!
oracle Posted October 6, 2013 Posted October 6, 2013 Hahaha if they come back they will just do it again 12 years later when they are bored and want excitement Happened to me What starts in blood ends in blood I already feel like curling up and dying. I can't eat I don't even want to get outta bed. The funny thing is before her I had a serious relationship and a child with her so I shouldn't even be having to ask this question but that was completely dif. because I hated her in the end and could have cared less to see her with someone else. That would be very hard living with an ex for 3 years. I don't know that I'm as strong as you I doubt I could handle that. I do believe in freeing the one you love and if they come back it was meant to be, but how do you know they are coming back for the right reason and not just because they get screwed by another guy or their struggling financially,etc.? Thank you for the response though. this site is great, it helps me a lot to know that I'm not alone and can read of ppl going through the same thing at the same time.
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