paloma22 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I'm hoping for some advice- I started dating a guy this summer and at first the chemistry was incredible on both sides- we loved spending time together and I was finally happy and trusting of a man again. We started off 'monogamous' and were very happy. Eventually I told him I was moving cities in the fall for school, and in addition, one evening we got into a rather heated argument that almost ended things for us right then and there. Basically two stubborn personalities colliding, and it suddenly seemed like our perfect match was far from it. Part of me thought it was over, but we met up again and decided to continue seeing each other monogamously, just not 'be in a relationship', given my moving away, differences in personality, etc. Fast forward a few months and we've kept in touch- he even booked a train ticket to visit me in November. I was in town last week and saw him, we slept together and had a brief discussion about our relationship. He told me he cared about me, but we weren't together, "that we had tried dating". Yet, he acts like we are in that he says he thinks about me often, cares about me, says I drive him crazy etc ( oh, and I'm apparently the best sex he's ever had, and him mine). I am trying to be a grown up about this and realize our paths likely won't align and we likely have no future, yet I keep thinking about him and think maybe the FWB nature of this is getting to heightened emotions. My question is, should I break it off before I get hurt? Can a woman be in a purely physical relationship with someone and not be 'taken advantage of', even if getting equal sexual gratification as the man?
Carenth Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 If you are happy with this arrangement then there is no issue with being in a FWB situation. The question is if you want more than that then it becomes an issue. He has made it pretty clear that he does not want to date again so it is what it is.
JessieJ08 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Well I think that you shouldn't continue if your mixing emotions in because it is likely you could end up really hurt in the situation. Most times in a FWB its usually the female getting hurt due to the fact when we have sex its usually on an intimate level Males on the other hand can sleep with females and not let the emotions get involved. Its a bad sign he is saying you have amazing sex ok amazing but not amazing enough to fix issues and try to be together Im not saying he isn't capable of caring about you but some guys will say anything to keep getting in a girls pants and this sounds exactly like that. It comes down to you though FWB is two people using each other for sex. Nothing else no feelings No relationship. Some females dont Mind I wouldn't make A FWB situation with an ex tho because I have already developed close feelings for this person it would be hard for me to accept that they are just using me I personally feel Im better then that, now a guy I just was friends with ok maybe because I am only friends with him for whatever reason I never wanted a relationship with this guy so if he chooses to walk away or stop being FWB its less likely to hurt me or him in the end. Good luck
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