urbsroma Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Here is the deal: I went on two really fun dates, but at the end of each she sent off this weird body language vibe. We would spend hours talking, laughing, making a bunch of intense eye-contact....and then nothing. After the second date I got the courage up to ask her about this contrast. She admitted to me that she had gotten out of a five year relationship several months prior (I had a similar experience, except my five year relationship ended 10 months ago). She moved to my city recently and is a doctor with a quite busy schedule. She told me that she wasn't sure with her job and having just got out of a relationship that jumping back into dating was the right thing. At first, I thought I was clearly getting rejected, but she was very apologetic and said that she was attracted to me (she even joked that she wasnt sure how mutual attraction and being friends is actually going to work). She suggested we try to be friends since there is an obvious connection between the two of us and asked about planning to get together (one on one) to cook dinner next week. I am attracted to this girl and could see her as someone I would want to be in a serious relationship down the line; in other words I am not just looking for a casual thing. Am I being completely "friend zoned"? What does her admission of mutual attraction but wariness about time commitment (she said she "needs to make serious relationships a priority" and might not have the time for that-- does that mean she considered a relationship with me being serious?) and being emotionally healthy after her last break up mean for me? Obviously, I am not completely comfortable with just being friends, but at the same time I do understand where she is coming from since I am in a similar place. Should I go along with this friend thing for now, continue to be flirt a bit, take it slow and see if this can turn into anything; or have I been officially relegated to the friend zone?
MalachiX Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Considering that she said that she just wanted to be friends, I don't know how you can interpret that as anything but being friendzoned. Why not be honest with her and tell her it's hard to just be friends when you feel this way? I think it'll save you a lot of frustration. 1
Carenth Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) One of my best friends is a young doctor as well. She is seriously so busy she has no time for a relationship. She is working really hard to advance her career, she is a great friend but I would never want to date her. I would say believe this girl when she says she does not have time for a relationship because in all probability she doesn't. At least not one with any sort of consistency. She has offered you friendship take that at face value and decide if you are ok with that or not. You could become something more down the line for sure but don't go into said friendship with that as your intention or you will end up resenting her. If you end up being her friend it is because you chose to be her friend rather than declining it. My personal advise is reject the friendship if you are going to use it as an agenda to get closer to her. It will more than likely backfire. Tell her you really enjoyed the dates you had but you would be lying if you said you weren't attracted to her and there fore it would be difficult to just be friends. Then depending on her reply you either stay or walk. Either way you have a choice to make. The choice you make will determine where you end up. No one can put you in the "friend zone" that's a load of crap. Edited October 4, 2013 by Carenth 1
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