Vinsanity1307 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 As usual here is my story comments are still appreciated... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/417902-dumped-after-5-years So I am 2.75 months post break up and the thoughts of my ex are still fresh, and have not subsided even this long after the break up. My question is since being dumped I have severe anxiety. Burning sensation in the middle of my chest, sometimes tightness around the ribcage, occasional hot flashes, and tremors and shaking. Especially if I am trying to draw or cut something. I have never had anxiety before this. I am seeing a counselor, but I am still having the anxiety especially when the thoughts of her come around. Any advice and can anyone relate??? Help!
ponchsox Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 (edited) If this continues, I would consult a psychiatrist (you need a doctor, not a counselor) to determine if what's causing the anxiety is mental, physical, or both. And no, it doesn't mean you're crazy. Severe anxiety is no joke and needs to be treated ASAP. Edited October 3, 2013 by ponchsox 2
JoelBarish Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I had this problem right after break up. I went to the doctor and got meds. I am doing somewhat better now. I still feel anxious sometimes but it's not to the point that I feel like I am having a panic attack now. You described the anxiety very well. The burning in the chest, the trembling. The only thing different in my case is I start feeling a cold out of control feeling all over.
dolita Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Just understand it is all in your head. off topic but, I am a Christian and I just recently converted into a buddhist because I've had so many aha moments about life. Love is vague, it isn't meant to be so divine like people and the media has made it. Love, just like money and fame and everything else, is like soap bubbles. When you're in this mindset, your soul will not hold on to anything and you will be truly relaxed and happy. 1
reddragon588 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Dude you're letting it snowball. You're still struggling with the big picture, so take it slow. Divide your day into manageable time increments... like 15 or 30 minutes. Dedicate yourself to whatever it is you're doing for those 15 minutes, whether it is a task at work, an exercise in the gym, a credit card application, whatever... tell yourself you're going to only focus on that task for that time, and that you'll let yourself think about her after that time increment. Then when you get to the end of the time, feel free to think about her for a minute or two as much as you want. Then repeat with another 15 or 30 minutes of concentration. Eventually you'll find yourself not thinking about her at the end of the time, and you'll go from 15 minutes to 30 minutes to an hour to 6 hours to 24 hours to a week, etc.... This will keep you from letting it snowball. You're going to be fine, you're a great guy and you're hurting now but it will get better! Seeing the doctor is the right thing. If you feel somatic symptoms like that, take a second, step back from whatever you're doing, close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, and you'll feel a lot better, I guarantee. 3
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 Thanks for your replies and kind.worda (reddragon)....ill try that..just feels like I'm going nuts...although someone whose crazy doesn't recognize their doing anything wrong...I know there's something wrong with me now....so I dunno 2
reddragon588 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Thanks for your replies and kind.worda (reddragon)....ill try that..just feels like I'm going nuts...although someone whose crazy doesn't recognize their doing anything wrong...I know there's something wrong with me now....so I dunno You're not crazy, you're just a human and you clearly cared about your ex. We've all been there. But remember, you've lived most of your life WITHOUT her, so you can do this! 1
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 Yes I have...but the scary part is living on my own this is really the first time I'm alone....and I always had someone with me..as long as I can remember...My younger cousin was basically attached to my hip from age 10 to 19/20....had a gf between there, then I met my recent ex and my cousin stopped taking too me cause he didn't like her..and I opened up to get even more ...and now she is gone..so I'm literally alone now...and it sucks
Fashiongal Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I would consult with a doctor or hollistic/naturopath. The break up could have affected you neurologically or the stress could have fatigued your adrenals causing your anxiety. 1
Hoaks Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I'm just over 3 months and have had severe anxiety for 5 months now. 2 months before the breakup because i knew it was coming. Its normal, especially if you cared for your ex so much. But you do need to see a psychiatrist for this. I am seeing one and have been on meds for 3 months. Its helped some, but when i see her car, i get hit with it again. Step back, slow deep breaths and calm yourself. Just remember, according to everyone on here, it will get better. 1
newguy1008 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Just hang in there man. Ive been single for several years now after a 3 year relationship. Im obviously over it but i could still remember the harsh feelings that i felt in my chest. But thats why we have friends and family. In case i actually moved to texas from connecticut shortly after, that along with the challenge of meeting new friends helped me cope. But i agree with some of these other suggestions too...if the anxiety is that bad, continue seeing a counselor. 1
newguy1008 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I agree with this too, i joined meetup to find people to play soccer with and it was helpful. 1
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 I have friends, but they have gf and ya know spend the time with them most of the time with them now...We hang out here and there, but that's the way it goes in serious relationships....Thanks for all your comments I have the worst health insurance so not sure I can afford to see a psychiatrist....Hence me on here asking for advice... just the anxiety is unbearable... 1
hurts2death Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 just like my friends...but we are men we dont need this that much.find your self as your best friend,,,always remember, a human is born alone and dies the same way. alone..... be strong man,,, i know exactly how you feel., i am strong and i am getting there. -johnI have friends, but they have gf and ya know spend the time with them most of the time with them now...We hang out here and there, but that's the way it goes in serious relationships....Thanks for all your comments I have the worst health insurance so not sure I can afford to see a psychiatrist....Hence me on here asking for advice... just the anxiety is unbearable...
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted October 4, 2013 Author Posted October 4, 2013 Just looked into that and nothing even relatively close to something that interests me in this area.
reddragon588 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Just looked into that and nothing even relatively close to something that interests me in this area. It took me about a month to find the right group. You have to work hard. If you're expecting everything to work out immediately, you're going to have a hard time. Keep looking, keep putting yourself out there and it will work out. But giving up guarantees it won't work out. 1
barky2 Posted October 5, 2013 Posted October 5, 2013 Vinny haven't heard from you Ina while was hoping you were doing better Why don't you come to the bean and let me take you out a night?? On some real shiiit tho, you're letting your head kick your ass right now. I've told you a million times go in the mirror ,get swole, and scream!!! Seriously. This broads no good for you and you know it. Think of the bad and not the good...because the way you described it broski, it was way worse than good. Ima reach out here...just because you live close to me... Pm me I'll give u my number ... Lol look at my pic I'm not a 60year old creeper I'm your age and been thru what your going thru. You need to get out of the house and see the world. Make time to come to boston...drinks on man. Barky 3
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted October 5, 2013 Author Posted October 5, 2013 Hey barky Sent you a message not sure if you got it..let me know...Appreciate the reach out...
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