What Would You Do?

[russellfitch1980]

Hey all, I've posted on here a few different times. I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year. We are very passionate about each other and love each other very much. I'm 24 and she is 21 turning 22 soon. We just celebrated our one year a few weeks ago and that was very special to the both of us. To give you background, we started dating last year the beginning of September, 2012. Things started off great! We couldn't get enough of each other.

 

Sex was unbelievable and constant, we talked for long hours, texted a bunch every day, time stood still while we were in this phase. I know this is the honeymoon phase and every relationship will go from this to a different stage of their relationship. This stage for us lasted about 3 or 4 months.

 

From that time when the honeymoon phase died down, we realized that we had to settle back into our normal routines of life. School, work, stuff like that. We went from hanging out 4 or 5 days a week to 2 or 3 days a week and went from having sex 3 or 4 times a week to only 1 or 2 times a week. Sex is still unbelievable and she tells me every time its the best she has ever had. Me as well.

 

Lately I have been feeling a little insecure because there is this one friend at school that she is always with while she is there at our campus. He is in several of her classes and she considers him a really good friend. I do get a little bit jealous of him from time to time because she seems to really enjoy his company and now for me it is a struggle to keep her entertained.

 

She tells me that our relationship is still as exciting as it has been, but its just a different time in it now. Over the summer we hung out even more and sex gradually picked back up, but since school started end of august she is back to her regular self of feeling tired, always focusing on school, and doesn't have as much time for me as she used to.

 

She tells me she loves me and wants to marry me and start a family with me in the future. I have just been feeling like she is getting bored of me. She swears that isn't it and she is just preoccupied with school and work which is why she is tired a lot and out of her regular self.

 

It seems though when she is with this male friend at school she is her regular self, talking, laughing, engaging in conversation, and willing to have fun. With me its a routine that we have been in where all she wants to to the last month or so has been relax, watch tv with me, and occasionally have sex once a week.

 

This male friend does have a girlfriend but I have always felt that he likes her and that he dislikes me because I have been with her for over a year which is when they first met. She tells me this is normal behavior and that she just enjoys his company and that I have nothing to worry about. I know she would never cheat on me but when she is with him she never responds to my texts and if she does it is minimal and usually very late.

 

She says she is the type of person to not text and be on her phone while she is with company....when she is with me she text occasionally to her friends so I guess I can see what she means. She tells me that out of all the guys she knows, I have the best personality which is why she wants to be with me. I just feel that we are stuck in a rut and have different points of views now.

 

I want to continue to be with her because I love her and care greatly for her as I know she does for me too. I just get irritated when she says how tired she is and when she is with friends she can be with them for hours and stay out late. She rarely does things with friends because she designates free time to me when she isn't working or doing homework.

 

I feel as I'm losing her and the spark isn't there anymore and I told her that and she said that was insane and I shouldn't think like that. I have tried to move on and not think about it and let it get me down, but every week I keep feeling worse about it. Is this normal in relationships? She still tells me she loves me and I believe her....I just can't stop feeling like she might be emotionally involved with this other guy and wont tell me about it.

 

We have talked about him in the past and she firmly told me that he is in friend zone. Maybe I'm just being paranoid...should I not let my emotions get the best of me? What do you all think? We are going on a trip this weekend to get away from everything and enjoy each others company. Hopefully things go well...usually when we are with each other we do have fun. I just want it to stay that way.

[Atem]

Hey all, I've posted on here a few different times. I've been with my girlfriend for a little over a year. We are very passionate about each other and love each other very much. I'm 24 and she is 21 turning 22 soon. We just celebrated our one year a few weeks ago and that was very special to the both of us. To give you background, we started dating last year the beginning of September, 2012. Things started off great! We couldn't get enough of each other.

 

Sex was unbelievable and constant, we talked for long hours, texted a bunch every day, time stood still while we were in this phase. I know this is the honeymoon phase and every relationship will go from this to a different stage of their relationship. This stage for us lasted about 3 or 4 months.

 

From that time when the honeymoon phase died down, we realized that we had to settle back into our normal routines of life. School, work, stuff like that. We went from hanging out 4 or 5 days a week to 2 or 3 days a week and went from having sex 3 or 4 times a week to only 1 or 2 times a week. Sex is still unbelievable and she tells me every time its the best she has ever had. Me as well.

 

Lately I have been feeling a little insecure because there is this one friend at school that she is always with while she is there at our campus. He is in several of her classes and she considers him a really good friend. I do get a little bit jealous of him from time to time because she seems to really enjoy his company and now for me it is a struggle to keep her entertained.

 

She tells me that our relationship is still as exciting as it has been, but its just a different time in it now. Over the summer we hung out even more and sex gradually picked back up, but since school started end of august she is back to her regular self of feeling tired, always focusing on school, and doesn't have as much time for me as she used to.

 

She tells me she loves me and wants to marry me and start a family with me in the future. I have just been feeling like she is getting bored of me. She swears that isn't it and she is just preoccupied with school and work which is why she is tired a lot and out of her regular self.

 

It seems though when she is with this male friend at school she is her regular self, talking, laughing, engaging in conversation, and willing to have fun. With me its a routine that we have been in where all she wants to to the last month or so has been relax, watch tv with me, and occasionally have sex once a week.

 

This male friend does have a girlfriend but I have always felt that he likes her and that he dislikes me because I have been with her for over a year which is when they first met. She tells me this is normal behavior and that she just enjoys his company and that I have nothing to worry about. I know she would never cheat on me but when she is with him she never responds to my texts and if she does it is minimal and usually very late.

 

She says she is the type of person to not text and be on her phone while she is with company....when she is with me she text occasionally to her friends so I guess I can see what she means. She tells me that out of all the guys she knows, I have the best personality which is why she wants to be with me. I just feel that we are stuck in a rut and have different points of views now.

 

I want to continue to be with her because I love her and care greatly for her as I know she does for me too. I just get irritated when she says how tired she is and when she is with friends she can be with them for hours and stay out late. She rarely does things with friends because she designates free time to me when she isn't working or doing homework.

 

I feel as I'm losing her and the spark isn't there anymore and I told her that and she said that was insane and I shouldn't think like that. I have tried to move on and not think about it and let it get me down, but every week I keep feeling worse about it. Is this normal in relationships? She still tells me she loves me and I believe her....I just can't stop feeling like she might be emotionally involved with this other guy and wont tell me about it.

 

We have talked about him in the past and she firmly told me that he is in friend zone. Maybe I'm just being paranoid...should I not let my emotions get the best of me? What do you all think? We are going on a trip this weekend to get away from everything and enjoy each others company. Hopefully things go well...usually when we are with each other we do have fun. I just want it to stay that way.

 

Dude - chill out for a sec.

 

1. You sound like you're turning into an insecure little pussy (asking your GF about the other dude all the time, making her assure you that she's with you and not with him...etc.).

 

2. If you keep this up, you'll make yourself crazy and annoy her in the process which could lead to her dumping your ass.

 

3. This kind of behavior usually results in you becoming more and more of a "chaser" (i.e. texting her first all the time, pushing for contact, always initiating, etc.) and increasingly clingy

 

4. This makes you LESS interesting in her mind (it's actually in her subconscious).

 

So, she still seems to like you but you're becoming more and more of a turn off because of your lame clingy insecure behavior. Unconsciously, she's becomeng less and less into you and while it looks like she wants to still be with you, you're killing the spark, as you said.

 

Don't tell me that this sounds unfair - women just are that way. They do NOT want what is readily available (i.e. you in this case) but CRAVE what seems out of their reach and/or harder to get.

 

What you should do now: chill out, get a hobby, focus on your studies/job and give her some space. I'm not saying freeze her out - by no means. BUT, let her call/text you next time. Let her initiate. Let her miss you for a bit and wonder where the hell you are.

 

In short - get a ****ing life and stop putting her on a pedestal as your personal goddess. Women do NOT dig that ****. Be a man. Be strong. Be independent. Be desirable.

 

Nuff said - now go execute

 

good luck (and dont cave - be strong)

[russellfitch1980]

Words of truth. Thanks man, I needed to hear that.