Having a rough day

[Still-I-Rise]

My MIL contacted me via email yesterday and I did not respond.

 

(My husband has not contacted me once since he learned our son was hospitalized. And even then, I'd called him four times in a couple days to reach him one time.)

 

She followed it up with two more.

 

She is a classic narcassist who managed to semi-raise two of her very own.

 

I'd gone NC with the soon to be ex's entire family (on the advice of his maternal uncle who told me his nephew was a pathological liar - the biggest one he's ever known - and that it runs in their family) because they are toxic people and don't really care anyway.

 

My soon to be ex generally kept his distance from his family - especially from his mother.

 

In the past she ran off with a married man who was becoming my husband's mentor (we were teenagers at the time) - we come from a VERY religious background - JWs - and it was devastating.

 

My husband did not speak to her for years. Her daughter didn't either. The two of them convinced me to go out of town to be there for their mother when she was going through her second divorce because they could not. (The MM continued cheating and tried to hurt her financially when he walked away.)

 

She took her third husband from a widow (he was a widower at the time) he'd been dating for two years. He has parkinson's now and she can't wait to be rid of him.

 

She is an unnecessarily cruel, looks obsessed person and has talked about her stints many times in psychiatric wards. She was/is always the superstar.

 

Anyway, I responded to one of her emails today via the advice of a lawyer-friend thanking her for her note and understanding and stating I'm sure my children will be in contact when they are ready. I also requested she refrain from using my business email for such personal matters. (She accussed me of keeping my children from her - they are all old enough to reach out if they want. She has never nurtured relationships with them and my oldest daughter encouraged me to pull back from her calling her evil and felt she only stopped by our home a few times to see that we were all miserable.)

 

Thing is, I didn't want to respond because she is a classic narcassist and I just fed the monster.

 

My friend's concern is that she would not have stopped sending me emails without a request to do so and that I should protect my workspace.

 

I wish I didn't care about such things and that I don't think about the monster my husband turned out to be but today is one of those days where my thoughts have me in the figure four lock.

Edited October 3, 2013 by Still-I-Rise

[Misadventure]

Still,

 

I understand where you are coming from but your friend (lawyer) was spot on. Also this clarifies and documents that you would not keep the kids away from grandparents etc.

 

Keep your nose clean and make every thing you do smell pretty because in the end at court it will matter...he needs to be the one left holding the poop bag.

[hayewils]

I have an ex MIL who is a total nut job. My kids, (18 yr old twins, and 16 yr old son) have all pulled away from her years ago cause she is so psycho. My ex wife, who recently got remarried to her now third husband, didn't even invite her mother to the wedding. Her own children don't want anything to do with her.

Kids do figure things out for themselves and it sounds like you have been set free from a very toxic relationship. Be thankful, I have been there..

[Still-I-Rise]

Thanks Hayewils -

 

Although in intellectually I know I should be grateful to have been freed from such toxicity, emotionally I am very much in turmoil and pain

 

I can't wait til the thought of being free at last will move to the foremost position in my mind

 

take care