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For all appearances, my M looks "recovered." My W rarely if ever brings it up, and we have settled into our old routine. I have given her every assurance, tackled every task she has asked, and nothing is even the tiniest bit changed from before. That's how she wanted it, because she was happy before.

 

For me, "normal" was the whole problem. I won't have another A, but I do wish there were some way for us both to be REALLY happy. I wish she was interested in growing and evolving together out of this, making something new and better. But she is not, and I am the one who strayed, so I don't really have any room to complain. Instead I have made it my mission to make (and keep!) her happy again.

 

If it were up to me, my own vision of recovery would be re-working the M from the ground up, starting over. More like a re-invention than a "recovery."

 

This is interesting to me because I have a similar perspective. I'm not interested in rebuilding the same old relationship, I want a newer, healthier one.

 

If I may ask, what are some of the ways you envision you and your wife being able to reinvent your marriage?

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