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What are we doing? Is he in this just for sex?


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Others start spouting misogynistic BS to anyone who will listen and become very bitter and anti-woman. The guys who do the latter have always had a streak of misogyny in them

 

This seems suspect to me, as it denies the power of experience to shape a person's character.

 

To cast the situation in different terms, consider racism. Some people are racist because they were "brought up" to think that way by irresponsible or misguided parents, while others are racist because the one time they wandered into the "black" part of town, they got robbed or assaulted or what have you. This in no way makes their racist feelings or comments any more valid than those of the other type, BUT I also don't believe that person was necessarily "always secretly a racist," and the attack just brought it out. Rather, I think they had a horrible experience, and their failure to come to terms with that experience in the healthiest possible way has led to them adopting prejudiced views.

 

To translate this back into nice guy/misogynist (or whatever) terms... some men experience more than their fair share of rejection and cruelty from the opposite sex. The ones who come to terms with this in a healthy way manage to not really let it get to them, I guess, while the ones who don't may develop certain uncharitable views toward the other gender. This happens to women all the time, only women who bash and complain about and stereotype men become "feminist" stand-up comics and sitcom wives; men who do the same are labeled misogynists, and then promptly blamed for the ills of society.

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