AnyaNova Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I keep reading so many posts by so many good men who seem to be willing to put so much work into their relationships and seem to really want a good one. Where are all you men who truly value relationships and give your all to them and fight for them? Because according to the evidence of this board, there are many of you. In my day to day life, I can't seem to find any of you. What is the difference? 6
Toddbt12y1 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 Views on a board may not always reflect what is so. It is also opposite too. Truly, up to who we ourselves pick. Perhaps your picker is off. There are excellent females on here too, but this is really small numbers here(guy/girl) to the bigger real world.
JoelBarish Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I think that just the fact that this is a forum where heartbroken guys/girls come to is why you see both sexes who cared about their relationship posting here. The uncaring majority would probably not come here at all. 4
RiceaRoni Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I'd like to know the same. I keep hearing about these amazing guys that keep being left or cheated on and I would be more than grateful to meet a guy who is a good one since I can't seem to pick the correct one(s).
JoelBarish Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 I'd like to know the same. I keep hearing about these amazing guys that keep being left or cheated on and I would be more than grateful to meet a guy who is a good one since I can't seem to pick the correct one(s). Well ladies my phone number is ***-***-**** Don't worry there is plenty of me to go around! :lmao: 5
Author AnyaNova Posted October 3, 2013 Author Posted October 3, 2013 Hey hey don't forget about me :cool: Now I have that song stuck in my head. :-) 1
lindsay1990 Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 OMG I was thinking this same thing this morning. Why wasn't mine one this sensitive, love-you-through-thick-and-thin types? Ugh.
JoelBarish Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Honestly Lindsay I am probably not that great. My gf probably loved me through thick and thin but there is only so much someone will put up with. 2
SimonSerenade Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 To be honest and this is going to sound really bad, when I was younger and I actually found someone who was sensitive and cared the way I did, I didn't care much for her, she was a great person and all but it bored the hell outta me, I think relationships are a challenge and I think they should be, the heartbreak sets in when were disappointed that we couldn't meet the challenge and beat it. Other than that, I wasn't the easiest guy to live with when I was with my ex, I was too sensitive and a little jealous, she had a lot to put up with, especially during the Mario and Luigi times.... damn those were hard times... hard times indeed lol but still, it doesn't excuse her from being a bitch, the best kind of people are the people who don't overthink stuff and just roll with it, not a fan of these 'oh gee is this what I want in my life" kinda people, they can suck ass. 2
lindsay1990 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Honestly Lindsay I am probably not that great. My gf probably loved me through thick and thin but there is only so much someone will put up with. SO did my bf, for sure. Can you link to your full BU story Joel?
AnnaAnna Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I know exactly what you're talking about. All they guys I meet are jerks! No offense to nice guys on here 3
Mr Scorpio Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Where are all you men who truly value relationships and give your all to them and fight for them? There are many possible answers. Some are married. Others are working 12 hour shifts to distract themselves. Some are out looking for the first woman to give them attention. Others have given up on women all together.
NomiMalone Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Mine honestly loved me with all his heart, and was affectionate, kind, and generous. In many ways, he was the perfect man. Unfortunately he suffered from an array of mental health issues that rendered some of his behaviour unacceptable, and so I left him. But meeting him has led me to believe that there ARE kind, loving people out there we can have a future with. But whether we happen to meet them, and find chemistry with them though is another question. Meeting someone, when you really think about it, depends almost entirely on pure dumb luck, and you almost always meet your partners when you least expect it. It's all part of what makes falling in love so thrilling and intriguing I guess
jba10582 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) There was so much emotional and mental energy invested in the six year relationship that its hard to give up on that person even though they have given up on you it seems. And even if you desire to change for the better and are taking significant steps to grow without them, it probably does not matter to them. I still think that she was the one for me who I pushed away (we had a lots of fights and quarrels). She was way to hurt to talk to me for nd we have very limited contact (not even breadcrumbs). She has taken significant steps to distance herself from me both physically and emotionally. I am talking with other girls now, basically just friendships to create distractions, however I still have empty feelings when they are around. It is getting easier, but I am definately not repaired yet... maybe duck tape will help! Plus going to two counselers for two different reasons. My parents themselvers were divorced, so that had attributed to some of my own relationship patterns. Going forward, I am reading a lot of books and learning new relationship skills which should have been learned in childhood. This forums helps a lot too with the coping! The ability to recognize both the toxic behavior patterns in myself and others and dealing with it is a skill I value more now than ever. I do not want this happening again in another six years, and I am dedicating myself to continue to improve and learn from this. Edited October 4, 2013 by jba10582
iwanttobewell Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I keep reading so many posts by so many good men who seem to be willing to put so much work into their relationships and seem to really want a good one. Where are all you men who truly value relationships and give your all to them and fight for them? Because according to the evidence of this board, there are many of you. In my day to day life, I can't seem to find any of you. What is the difference? I can tell you where we are: we're all in the same place; waiting. We want to find not just the so-called perfect match. We want to find females who care, who are not swayed or otherwise manipulated by the glint of some patch of green grass on the other side of life's highway, and who appreciate fidelity, not because they are hurting now but simply because it is who they are. I suppose there are females who are in the same place, wanting the same attributes from men, which I guess now puts most of us in the exact same place. Question is, how do we find one another? 1
Copelandsanity Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) How many single people are attractive, intelligent, interesting, sane, gainfully employed, and have good character? Probably around 10%, and can be less depending on where you live or how high your standards get. Chances are that the 10% are going to come into contact much more with the 90%. And even if the 10% meets one of their own, they still might not be a compatible match sexually or romantically...or they've been burned repeatedly by the 90% so much that they're not emotionally available anymore. Edited October 4, 2013 by Copelandsanity 2
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